Adoption Update

This has been a long process, even longer than expected. We have had many people ask us "how's it going? Any news yet?" We received an email yesterday from our international agency, Carolina Adoption Services, so I thought I'd share.

February 29, 2012

Dear Moldova Families,

We are glad to announce that our facilitator has notified us that the agency has been officially registered with the Ministry of Justice and we have also received agency accreditation for 2012!  We recognize that this program is becoming increasingly frustrating due to the lack of moment.  Let me share what we know to date.

Our facilitator has had the opportunity to meet individually with the authorities who confirmed that there will be changes in the adoption process and dossier requirements.  The officials at the Ministry have not made any official announcements as to what the changes will be.  They are considering changes to adoption process regulations adopted in May of 2011, as they are realizing that the present regulations may be too restrictive and not meet the best interests of the children.  The Ministry of Labor and Social Protection will have a committee which will match families and children.  The official list of available children is not completed at present time; therefore, no matches may be made.  We have been told that priority will be given to requests for older children and sibling groups.  Our greatest urgency is for the 4 families whose dossiers had been submitted to Moldova some time ago.  We do not anticipate any significant movement with these families until April or May.  We remain concerned about submitting additional dossiers as the document requirements may change, the process may be different and the processing time frames are unknown.

It does seem that Moldova is experiencing many of the same issues as other countries that have international adoption programs; changes in policies, fewer children available for international adoption, increase in age of children being available for adoption and delays in processing adoptions.  Our facilitator will continue to meet with the authorities to get further clarification regarding changes in the adoption process in Moldova.  At the present time it anticipated that the program will continue to move at a very slow pace.  Families who are not prepared for a longer wait may want to consider another program.  CAS will waive the country transfer fee to another program if families decide they would like to switch programs.  At present time, we will not be accepting new applications to the program until further notice.  If you would like to discuss your family’s situation, please contact me directly and we will set a time to talk about it.

Sincerely,

     Tania Griasnow

Moldova Program Coordinator 

To sum up, this is good news & not so good news. The good news is that the agency is now accredited & registered in the country of Moldova! Yeah! Other good news is we are one of the four families mentioned that will be (hopefully) in the first set of referrals! Double yeah!! The not so good news is that March will probably not be the month they begin giving referrals, which we hoped for. (It's not really "not so good news" as much as it is "not the news we were hoping for.") The real not so good news is that many of the other families have dropped out of this program, so there are less families waiting to adopt these kids. Also, adopting from Moldova will have longer waiting periods. :(

We are in the process of finalizing & updating paperwork, physicals, immigration forms, etc. so we are 100% ready when we finally do get the call. (Technically we were 100% ready when we submitted our dossier to Moldova last Jan. but, things were beginning to expire & therefore, had to be redone.) We also had to redo some paperwork & clearances since our originally local agency closed & we had to start again with a new agency. We have decided to expand our age range now to request a girl between the ages of 3-7 years old. This may help us get a referral since it includes a larger age range & an older child. 

Lastly, I would like to thank each & every person that has asked us about our adoption. I realize many people are unsure whether they should bring the subject up. Please know that we feel fortunate to be able to talk about all of adoption's ups & downs. We are very blessed to have the support of so many friends & family, especially those who have been down this road before. We can't wait for the day to be able to share great news with all of you! Right now, we are just dreaming of that day & hoping that we might be filling up our summer with lots of travel!

Waiting, what's up with that?

It’s been awhile. I know. It’s been rough. It’s hard to write when days are full of emotional roller coasters. Then add the full schedule of homeschooling life…and that brings us to today, 4 months since the last post.  Waiting’s not easy. I’m not good at it. Although, I think I’m getting better at it. Well, moving on… I read another blogger call this adoption waiting process “Waiting Purgatory.” That’s about how I feel. We wait, still no girl.

Moldova is now finished with their new adoption law changes. What does this mean exactly? I don't know exactly. No one seems to know exactly. But, we are pleased that the process is done & referrals should be coming in again soon.

Christmas is coming. It’s unlikely (highly unlikely, but you see I still hold it possible in my mind)  that she’ll be home. I’m still holding out hope that we may get the call before Christmas. Would that make it easier or more difficult? The problem is- I FEEL ready. I feel like I’m ready for all of this to happen today, right now to be honest (ring phone, RING!)  But, God’s not moving any faster. Her bed is ready, the sandbox is ready, clothes in different sizes are ready,Christmas gifts from last Christmas & now this upcoming Christmas are ready. Aren’t we ready?

I packed away winter clothes thinking “Next time I unpack these clothes, maybe she’ll be home.” Summer ended. I packed away summer clothes assured “When I unpack THESE clothes, she’ll be home!” Yes, it’s the clothes…unpacking winter clothes won’t bring her home but, YES it’s the unpacking of the SUMMER clothes!!!  But, alas, I’ve unpacked winter & summer clothes several times now…still no little girl in that 4^th bed. So, we wait. We wait & I dream about what it’ll be like when that phone does ring. What will I say? What will we do next? How fast can I get there!!! Then the thought occurs to me. Have I thought about today? What are the plans for today, Lord? What about today. Yes, waiting is hard. But, I am thankful that I have today…girl or no girl.

What to do while you wait...get chickens?

I've had this conflicting feeling lately. I feel a little guilty every time we do something new because #4 is missing out. I somehow feel that we should put everything on hold until she comes home. She's missed so much already & I don't want her to miss out on anything else. I realize as I type this that it isn't practical, but a lot of times our feelings aren't practical. They are what they are & we feel them either way. I read in a devotion book from Show Hope that we shouldn't make our existing families wait because we are in the waiting process. What? Does someone know about this? Are you telling me that I'm not the first mom to go through this adoption waiting process! haha. Sometimes knowing someone else has been there helps, sometimes it doesn't. I'm still waiting & they can't change that. But, it can help me deal better with the circumstances I find myself in. To not take my kids to the pool, or not go out to eat, or not see a movie because we are waiting for another child is like pouting to God. It's like me telling Him "All this is not enough. All that You've blessed me with, I don't care. I want this & I want it now." Ouch. Not particularly the attitude I'm teaching my children to have, right? Isn't there somewhere in the Bible where it says that we should be content in our circumstances, not wanting, that God provides for all the birds of the earth & He will take care of us, His children. And that's when it hits me. His children. Our #4 is His child, not just ours. Doesn't He want what's best for her? Won't He provide for her needs while we cannot? I can do all things through Christ...even this. It's gonna be alright. I've waited for lots of things. Eventually, the pieces fall into place & we realize the timetables match up for things to have worked out perfectly. I just hope that I'm getting better at this wait thing. Why struggle through it & gain nothing. That's a waste.  What about having fun? Yes, it's even ok to have a little fun while we are waiting. It's not only ok, be good to enjoy the blessings we've been given even if #4 is not with us yet.

What are we supposed to do while we are waiting? We were told early on that waiting is a big part of the adoption process. We had better get used to it & learn to embrace it now because it doesn't get any easier. In fact, it's one of the things about adoption that can drive you insane if you let it. God knows the plan. The whole plan. But, I can't help but wonder-will we get the call tomorrow? Maybe it'll be next week. Or it could be next month...well, I do have some VBS plans & there's the conference, but we can work around that, right? OK, I'll fess up-I JUST WANT TO KNOW! I'm not good with this waiting thing, in fact I've never been good at this waiting thing! I'd really, REALLY like to know when this is going to happen. While we're at it, I also want to know how this will all play out. When will we travel? Will we have all the money we need? Will the travel times be extended? Will the people like the gifts I brought? What will our little girl look like? How old will she be? What size will she wear? Will she like the snacks we bring? Will she take right to us or grow to accept us slowly? What about the kids. Will they travel well? Will they get along with their new sister? Then I realize why God doesn't give us all the info up front. It's exhausting & overwhelming & we haven't even gotten the call yet! God gives us one piece at a time when we need it. It's like unwrapping a gift. Each unfolding movement reveals another look at this precious gift we are given. I need to be pateint. Well, I'm not going to be praying for that. The big joke about new moms is that they all pray for patience. Then they find themselves in all sorts of situations that require them to learn to be patient. Truth be told, I think I am more patient now than when I was a new mom. Maybe He does know what He's doing, ya think?

It's also occurred to me that this waiting process is not just for us. It’s also for all of those around us. We are waiting. Our families are waiting. Our friends are waiting. Our little girl is waiting. I’m praying that God will use this waiting period to prepare our hearts for our daughter. I pray that He will prepare her heart for us. I pray that the hearts of all our family & friends will be ready to accept & love her when she finally comes home.

So, what's a family to do while waiting for the call? For our family, the answer is: get chickens. I'm going to guess that this may not be the typical answer. But, then again, we are not the typical family. We're Christians, mom doesn't work & we don't even send our kids to school! I know, we break all the American rules. :o)  So, we get chickens. Believe it or not, our suburban town allows 4 chickens (hens) per households-no roosters. We have several friends who have chickens. I have a few friends that have horses, etc. I even have a friend that just bought an entire farm! (She has chickens & a rooster!) We can do this. My cousin, who is an urban chicken expert, says chickens are easier to raise than cats. We have cats! We CAN do this! As you read this, our bath tub is filled with wood chips & 4 adorable little chicks. They are so cute! They make cute little chirps behind the shower door which keep our 2 cats on their toes. The kids have named them & renamed them. Without any further ado, I give you: Spots, Clucker, Elizabeth & Marsala. Never a dull moment at the Henson House!

 Clucker

 Spots

 Elizabeth

 Marsala