Patience Now

Our last flight from London to Moscow is abroad Transaero Airlines, a Russian airline.  It's our first taste of interacting with people from Russia, many whom do not speak English. We are spoiled in the US. Most people visiting the US speak some English & when we travel many places have some English speakers. It's quite humbling to be surrounded be people all speaking another language. Most of the time, Americans just don't have to deal with fumbling with foreign words & settling with lots of smiling. Patience is required.

My first awkward encounter comes fast. I'm surprised at just how surprised I am by it! Time to order drinks. I've been on many planes. I know how this goes. Without thinking twice, I ask for water in English. There is silence. She replies in Russian. Ummmm, let's repeat slower & louder. Really? What am I thinking? Why do I think that works? Silence again. Smile? Panic sets in. I look at the cart & point to the first thing that looks familiar, Sprite. She says something in Russian, I nod yes & immediately think NO. What am I doing? I don't want Sprite! I want water! Why did I point to Sprite...which ironically is right next to the water! Well, it's poured. I drink it. I realize I seriously have to learn a little Russian.

To Russia w/ love

This is it. This is the day I've been waiting for! I am finally on board an airplane en route to see my two new children. It's hard to comprehend this is real. This is really happening. 

Yesterday was a busy, emotional day. Besides packing, I stopped at Costco to stock up on some food before leaving for Russia. I noticed some kid's clothing & decided to purchase a few items for my two new kids. I know this sounds like an uneventful task that moms do on a semi-regular basis, but this was the first time I have gotten to buy clothes for MY kids. Up until now, all the clothes I had saved for them was just that, for THEM. An unknown child. A child without a face. A little person who was yet to be seen by me. Now, I held up the outfit with navy & white stripes & a car on the front. I could see him. I could see his little smiling face wearing this outfit. And I knew if I stood there too long staring, the tears would come.

Another moment hit me at Wal-Mart. I saw a toddler board book "My First 100 Words." I picked it up thinking that it would be useful. I imagined myself sitting on the plane, with two new kids, going through the book, pointing & speaking the English words. That's when it hit me. I get to teach them English! I may not have been there where they spoke their first word, but I will be there when they speak their first English word! Of course, it's a strange moment when an employee bumps into you, your eyes filled with tears, while holding a silly book. I wish I would have gotten that adoption t-shirt that says "adoption in progress- may cry at any time!"

Now I sit, waiting for this plane to land. I already miss my first three kids. I can't wait to meet my two new kids. I'm dreaming of the days ahead when all of my children sit together, in the same country, in the same house. What a day it will be, but it can't happen soon enough.

Is it true? Yes it is!

First, let me apologize for the last several posts all going up today & being backdated. We have been very cautiously moving forward for the last 6 weeks. We have wanted to share our exciting news but, after waiting so long were apprehensive. Here we go...

We leave in 4 days for Russia! The last week has been filled w/ conference calls, appointments, travel arrangements & asking favors. We are excited...but things can still go wrong. We are going to meet the children & officially accept the referral. At that point, things will be fairly certain. Our second trip will be our day at court. Will they think we are just plain crazy for wanting 5 kids? (have 3, now adding 2 more) Maybe. We have high hopes that they will approve us :)  Our third trip will be to bring the kids home. We estimate that this may be in November.So there you have it. Is it true? Is this really going to happen? Well, it looks that way!

Several months ago, I had a strange dream. We had finished our adoption & were finally home. I was a proud momma introducing our new child to friends that had prayed for him. One turned & said "I thought you asked for a little girl from Moldova?" Confused, I turned to see that the child I had brought home was a little Asian boy. Later, I shared my dream w/ friends (the friends in my dream) & we laughed. I joked that you just never know until you actually bring them home. I suppose that was more truth than I realized at the moment. I love to have things planned out nicely. It's just not the way our adoption journey has gone so far. We are still waiting upon God & He hasn't let us down yet. For when I think that I may have just asked for too much, He blesses me with more than I imagined.

The paperwork process drags on...

California is a beautiful state! I have many great memories from the state. I lived there for 16 years. It was the state where I met my husband. It was the state where I went to college. It was the state where my first 3 children were born. It was the state where I got married. And this is where things get sticky.

All started well when we began the paperwork process again. Mind you, I have put together 2 dossiers in the last 21 months. Therefore, this time around, it should be a piece of cake. I estimated that it would take me about 30 to turn this new dossier out. Of course, nothing can be used from the last dossier since Russia doesn't want documents submitted that are more than 3 months old. Also, a notary's commission can not expire for at least 12 months at the time they sign your documents. I have this down...

I planned well. To date, I have completed 81 of the necessary 84 documents. They are original documents or copies w/ affidavits, they are certified or notarized & finally they are apostilled from the state where the document originated from. This is where California tests my patience.

 I needed 3 certified copies of our marriage certificate & then needed an apostille for each from the Secretary of State. Easy enough, right? I knew this would be the item that would take the longest time. I sent for the certified copies on June 27th... Waited. ..Waited. ..Called on July 9th. Documents received, but not processed.. Waited. Waited. They finally arrive back to me on July 16th. We FedEx them the same day to the Secretary of State. Their website says that apostilles usually take 3-5 business days to process. We waited. Waited. Prayed. Waited & prayed. Called on July 23rd. Do they know its the fifth business day? I'm certain they do, I'm just double checking :) What? You have got to be kidding me!! I am told that today, July 23 rd, they are processing mail from July 9th. Tomorrow they may still be processing July 9th's mail. Do I want to talk to a supervisor? Oh yeah! The supervisor says that they can not go pick through July 17th's mail to find my FedExed item & process it. :(  But, if I come in person, they will process it while I wait. Really. She estimates that in 5 to 10 business days they will be processing the mail that contains my documents.

So, here I sit, at the Denver airport. A glass of wine & a hummus plate while I wait to board my plane to Cali. I will go, in person, to get new certified copies of our marriage certificate. Then, I will go, in person, to get each an apostille. There are many conclusions I can come to w/ the events of the day. Apparently, they miss my smiling face SO much that they want me to come & redo the paperwork in person...that's what I'm going with! I have a choice w/ every event that occurs in my life. How will I react?

What it comes down to in the end is that there are 2 little children, waiting in an orphanage in Russia. They are waiting for paperwork to be processed. I said I could have this paperwork turned around in 30 days...Today is day 30. Tomorrow this last piece will be sent. So I guess that makes it 31...oh well  :) California, here I come! Documents 82, 83& 84 will be done!

A Surprise Call!

The day finally came when we were to speak w/ our program coordinator. I was very anxious, but hopeful that she had just spoken w/ the orphanage director in Moldova. Quickly, we realized that nothing significant had changed. There would be no little girl for us in the near future. Corbin then asked the question that would change everything..."what about Russia?" we had discussed Russia a number of times. Originally, we had some fears, which led us to Moldova. The subject came back up a number of times, but we still felt that Moldova was where we were supposed to be. "Well, if you're interested in changing your paperwork to Russia, we have a 7 year old girl who is available right now... & she has a 4 year old brother." I can't truly remember the words that were said next. We both looked at each other unsure who would utter the first word. Ummmm, yeah. Yeah, right? Yes, I think we're interested. Can we call you back? After 5 minutes of smiling, giggling & staring at each other we could hardly get more words out of our mouths but yes. We called her back. Yes!

In an instance, our world changed, just as it had w/ the announcement of our other children before. I had hoped when this journey began that things would progress quickly & we might be able to adopt twice. As time past, it looked as though that would not happen. Now, everything was happening all at once.

Twelve years ago, when I found out that I was having twins, I was ecstatic! I told people "the only thing better than having one baby, is having two babies!" I still feel the same way. The paperwork begins again!

Time for a change?

When we began this adoption journey we felt led to the country of Moldova. We  moved ahead w/ the hopes of bringing home a little girl. As the months went by, we would cycle through feelings of hope & despair. But, we still felt that we were to wait for things to move in Moldova.

When the 2 year point hit, our hopes fell again. It seemed to look like another summer would come & go, another Christmas would be spent with her not here. Although Corbin & I both shared these feelings, no words about them were spoken. We went on w/ life, as we have done in the past. We made plans for this & that. We began to feel as if this adoption journey might never be completed.

Then one morning Corbin woke up & said "I think we need to look at other options." It was the dreaded comment that I knew in my heart was coming. We made plans to talk w/ our program coordinator after the weekend. In the meantime, we prayed. What were we supposed to do? I felt a deep sadness & mourned what I thought would be the end of a dream.

Adoption Update

This has been a long process, even longer than expected. We have had many people ask us "how's it going? Any news yet?" We received an email yesterday from our international agency, Carolina Adoption Services, so I thought I'd share.

February 29, 2012

Dear Moldova Families,

We are glad to announce that our facilitator has notified us that the agency has been officially registered with the Ministry of Justice and we have also received agency accreditation for 2012!  We recognize that this program is becoming increasingly frustrating due to the lack of moment.  Let me share what we know to date.

Our facilitator has had the opportunity to meet individually with the authorities who confirmed that there will be changes in the adoption process and dossier requirements.  The officials at the Ministry have not made any official announcements as to what the changes will be.  They are considering changes to adoption process regulations adopted in May of 2011, as they are realizing that the present regulations may be too restrictive and not meet the best interests of the children.  The Ministry of Labor and Social Protection will have a committee which will match families and children.  The official list of available children is not completed at present time; therefore, no matches may be made.  We have been told that priority will be given to requests for older children and sibling groups.  Our greatest urgency is for the 4 families whose dossiers had been submitted to Moldova some time ago.  We do not anticipate any significant movement with these families until April or May.  We remain concerned about submitting additional dossiers as the document requirements may change, the process may be different and the processing time frames are unknown.

It does seem that Moldova is experiencing many of the same issues as other countries that have international adoption programs; changes in policies, fewer children available for international adoption, increase in age of children being available for adoption and delays in processing adoptions.  Our facilitator will continue to meet with the authorities to get further clarification regarding changes in the adoption process in Moldova.  At the present time it anticipated that the program will continue to move at a very slow pace.  Families who are not prepared for a longer wait may want to consider another program.  CAS will waive the country transfer fee to another program if families decide they would like to switch programs.  At present time, we will not be accepting new applications to the program until further notice.  If you would like to discuss your family’s situation, please contact me directly and we will set a time to talk about it.

Sincerely,

     Tania Griasnow

Moldova Program Coordinator 

To sum up, this is good news & not so good news. The good news is that the agency is now accredited & registered in the country of Moldova! Yeah! Other good news is we are one of the four families mentioned that will be (hopefully) in the first set of referrals! Double yeah!! The not so good news is that March will probably not be the month they begin giving referrals, which we hoped for. (It's not really "not so good news" as much as it is "not the news we were hoping for.") The real not so good news is that many of the other families have dropped out of this program, so there are less families waiting to adopt these kids. Also, adopting from Moldova will have longer waiting periods. :(

We are in the process of finalizing & updating paperwork, physicals, immigration forms, etc. so we are 100% ready when we finally do get the call. (Technically we were 100% ready when we submitted our dossier to Moldova last Jan. but, things were beginning to expire & therefore, had to be redone.) We also had to redo some paperwork & clearances since our originally local agency closed & we had to start again with a new agency. We have decided to expand our age range now to request a girl between the ages of 3-7 years old. This may help us get a referral since it includes a larger age range & an older child. 

Lastly, I would like to thank each & every person that has asked us about our adoption. I realize many people are unsure whether they should bring the subject up. Please know that we feel fortunate to be able to talk about all of adoption's ups & downs. We are very blessed to have the support of so many friends & family, especially those who have been down this road before. We can't wait for the day to be able to share great news with all of you! Right now, we are just dreaming of that day & hoping that we might be filling up our summer with lots of travel!