When I was younger, I loved riding roller coasters. I loved the short & fast ones, the twisty-twirly ones, the ones that went backwards & upside down, even the bump, jerky ones. I didn’t really understand why some people didn’t like roller coasters. Some said roller coasters made them dizzy, sick or feel like they were out of control.
Well, now here I am. I don’t like roller coasters. I’ve wondered about when this change happened. Coincidentally, it happened around the time I became a mom. It didn’t happen overnight. It was a subtle change that wouldn’t go away & continues to get worse. Last summer, I took my kids to Elitch Gardens & carefully picked one ride, which I thought would be ok. It was my last. Sorry kids, I’m one of “those” people now…can’t do rides. I have mentioned this to some of my mom friends & many have had the same experience. Maybe that’s why they post the “No pregnant women” signs in front of roller coasters. They know that once you become a mom, that’s it, no more riding for you! What was it about becoming a mom that turned me into the “can’t do rides” person? My conclusion, it’s just not fun anymore. I don’t like when it goes fast. I worry Jake’s car will fly off the track. When it’s too twisty, I wonder if Hannah is getting smushed beside me. When it’s too bumpy, I fear Tommy will fall out. I suppose roller coasters were fun when I had nothing to lose. Now, I have 3 kids that want to ride them & all I can think about is what can go wrong. It’s hard to relax & enjoy the ride.
This is about when I realize that it’s not just about roller coasters. Right now, I feel that I am in the prime of my life. (No, stop laughing, I don’t mean physically.) I have most of the things I dreamed about as a little girl: husband, kids, house, car, dog, cat, other assorted animals, etc. But, sometimes I get so wrapped up in the details of everyday mom life, that I miss the ride. I forget to enjoy my kids today. I don’t always find it amusing when they can’t remember something I’ve told them a hundred times. I don’t always laugh when they make up a joke that makes no sense. I don’t always drop what I’m doing when someone comes to me for a snuggle. One thing I know for certain, they won’t be little for long. It’s not really the destination that we dreamed about but, the journey to it.
We received news last week that our country, Moldova, is closed. This means for the time being, no more referrals are being made. It’s supposed to only last a few months, but no one knows for sure. So, am I enjoying the journey? Honestly, it really depends on what day you ask me. I’m trying. I’m praying. I know God is in control & apparently, He likes the CRAZY roller coasters! So, come ride along with us. I can’t promise that I know exactly the way but, I’m following a mighty God & He won’t let me down. Left to myself, I’m pretty sure I would have chosen the merry-go-round. But, that just goes around & around. It’s good for scenery. It makes you feel like you’re going somewhere, only you end up right where you started. We were led to this twisty-twirly, bumpy, upside-down & sometimes backward roller coast ride. I will be happy when we reach the end. Our daughter is there waiting for us. The daughter I waited for. Luckily, once we get there our journey is not over, but just beginning.
