What's in a Name?

A young woman oddly moves around the counter. Her face glows although her eyes look tired. As her body passes in front of the counter her large belly is exposed. “Have you decided on a name yet?” her co-worker asks.

This is one of the common questions you hear when you are expecting. Why? What does a name tell us about a person? All of our kids have a biblical first name. Most people gather we are Christians when they hear me list off my children’s names. Each name was carefully thought over & prayed about. Our children know the story of why we chose their name & what it means.

What if the young woman in the story above answered her co-worker with a name you never heard of before? How would you feel if the name was the same as a person who hurt you badly in your past? What about a name that’s so absurd you are not quite sure just what to say?

Now think about foreign names. Names that are not common. Names that are difficult to pronounce & spell. Names that prompt curious people to ask about their origins time & again. If the story of how your name was chosen is lovely & people respond joyfully you probably wouldn’t mind telling it over & over. But, what if your name linked you to a past filled with sadness, abuse & terrifying memories. How many times would you want to tell it? This is the story for one of our adopted children.

We have given our adopted children a new life. A fresh start to have all the things that kids should have. One of those things included a new name: a biblical first name we chose (just like their siblings), their Russian name as their middle name & the same last name our entire family shares. We have always explained that they have two names. We love them both. Both names are theirs & they may use which ever one they chose. Because our children were not babies when they came home to us, we continued using the only names they had ever been called, their Russian names. 

This past summer our daughter asked if we would begin calling her by her first name. Consequently, she did not hear “What?” after saying her name the first time to new people. No one was asking her to repeat her name & then asking her how to spell it. Her sister, with a common American name, was never asked to repeat her name or spell it. No one was saying things like, “Wow, that’s an unusual name. Where does it come from?” By deciding to be called by her first name, she was able to gain a little bit of peace in her life, which is often filled with so much anxiety due to her past. She found she didn’t have to explain her past if she didn’t want to. She could just be the little girl she is today…like her sister. Soon after, our son asked if we would also call him by his first name. 

Kids can be finicky. I wasn’t sure if they would change their minds after a few weeks. Many people have heard me call my kids by their first names recently & rightly have been a bit confused. A formal name change seems too restrictive at the time. After six months, I’m guessing that they are happy right now being called by their first names. Therefore, may I officially introduce you to Sarah & Joshua.

Sarah- means princess (in Hebrew)

Joshua- means Jehovah is generous (in Hebrew)