The paperwork process drags on...

California is a beautiful state! I have many great memories from the state. I lived there for 16 years. It was the state where I met my husband. It was the state where I went to college. It was the state where my first 3 children were born. It was the state where I got married. And this is where things get sticky.

All started well when we began the paperwork process again. Mind you, I have put together 2 dossiers in the last 21 months. Therefore, this time around, it should be a piece of cake. I estimated that it would take me about 30 to turn this new dossier out. Of course, nothing can be used from the last dossier since Russia doesn't want documents submitted that are more than 3 months old. Also, a notary's commission can not expire for at least 12 months at the time they sign your documents. I have this down...

I planned well. To date, I have completed 81 of the necessary 84 documents. They are original documents or copies w/ affidavits, they are certified or notarized & finally they are apostilled from the state where the document originated from. This is where California tests my patience.

 I needed 3 certified copies of our marriage certificate & then needed an apostille for each from the Secretary of State. Easy enough, right? I knew this would be the item that would take the longest time. I sent for the certified copies on June 27th... Waited. ..Waited. ..Called on July 9th. Documents received, but not processed.. Waited. Waited. They finally arrive back to me on July 16th. We FedEx them the same day to the Secretary of State. Their website says that apostilles usually take 3-5 business days to process. We waited. Waited. Prayed. Waited & prayed. Called on July 23rd. Do they know its the fifth business day? I'm certain they do, I'm just double checking :) What? You have got to be kidding me!! I am told that today, July 23 rd, they are processing mail from July 9th. Tomorrow they may still be processing July 9th's mail. Do I want to talk to a supervisor? Oh yeah! The supervisor says that they can not go pick through July 17th's mail to find my FedExed item & process it. :(  But, if I come in person, they will process it while I wait. Really. She estimates that in 5 to 10 business days they will be processing the mail that contains my documents.

So, here I sit, at the Denver airport. A glass of wine & a hummus plate while I wait to board my plane to Cali. I will go, in person, to get new certified copies of our marriage certificate. Then, I will go, in person, to get each an apostille. There are many conclusions I can come to w/ the events of the day. Apparently, they miss my smiling face SO much that they want me to come & redo the paperwork in person...that's what I'm going with! I have a choice w/ every event that occurs in my life. How will I react?

What it comes down to in the end is that there are 2 little children, waiting in an orphanage in Russia. They are waiting for paperwork to be processed. I said I could have this paperwork turned around in 30 days...Today is day 30. Tomorrow this last piece will be sent. So I guess that makes it 31...oh well  :) California, here I come! Documents 82, 83& 84 will be done!

A Surprise Call!

The day finally came when we were to speak w/ our program coordinator. I was very anxious, but hopeful that she had just spoken w/ the orphanage director in Moldova. Quickly, we realized that nothing significant had changed. There would be no little girl for us in the near future. Corbin then asked the question that would change everything..."what about Russia?" we had discussed Russia a number of times. Originally, we had some fears, which led us to Moldova. The subject came back up a number of times, but we still felt that Moldova was where we were supposed to be. "Well, if you're interested in changing your paperwork to Russia, we have a 7 year old girl who is available right now... & she has a 4 year old brother." I can't truly remember the words that were said next. We both looked at each other unsure who would utter the first word. Ummmm, yeah. Yeah, right? Yes, I think we're interested. Can we call you back? After 5 minutes of smiling, giggling & staring at each other we could hardly get more words out of our mouths but yes. We called her back. Yes!

In an instance, our world changed, just as it had w/ the announcement of our other children before. I had hoped when this journey began that things would progress quickly & we might be able to adopt twice. As time past, it looked as though that would not happen. Now, everything was happening all at once.

Twelve years ago, when I found out that I was having twins, I was ecstatic! I told people "the only thing better than having one baby, is having two babies!" I still feel the same way. The paperwork begins again!

Time for a change?

When we began this adoption journey we felt led to the country of Moldova. We  moved ahead w/ the hopes of bringing home a little girl. As the months went by, we would cycle through feelings of hope & despair. But, we still felt that we were to wait for things to move in Moldova.

When the 2 year point hit, our hopes fell again. It seemed to look like another summer would come & go, another Christmas would be spent with her not here. Although Corbin & I both shared these feelings, no words about them were spoken. We went on w/ life, as we have done in the past. We made plans for this & that. We began to feel as if this adoption journey might never be completed.

Then one morning Corbin woke up & said "I think we need to look at other options." It was the dreaded comment that I knew in my heart was coming. We made plans to talk w/ our program coordinator after the weekend. In the meantime, we prayed. What were we supposed to do? I felt a deep sadness & mourned what I thought would be the end of a dream.

Adoption Update

This has been a long process, even longer than expected. We have had many people ask us "how's it going? Any news yet?" We received an email yesterday from our international agency, Carolina Adoption Services, so I thought I'd share.

February 29, 2012

Dear Moldova Families,

We are glad to announce that our facilitator has notified us that the agency has been officially registered with the Ministry of Justice and we have also received agency accreditation for 2012!  We recognize that this program is becoming increasingly frustrating due to the lack of moment.  Let me share what we know to date.

Our facilitator has had the opportunity to meet individually with the authorities who confirmed that there will be changes in the adoption process and dossier requirements.  The officials at the Ministry have not made any official announcements as to what the changes will be.  They are considering changes to adoption process regulations adopted in May of 2011, as they are realizing that the present regulations may be too restrictive and not meet the best interests of the children.  The Ministry of Labor and Social Protection will have a committee which will match families and children.  The official list of available children is not completed at present time; therefore, no matches may be made.  We have been told that priority will be given to requests for older children and sibling groups.  Our greatest urgency is for the 4 families whose dossiers had been submitted to Moldova some time ago.  We do not anticipate any significant movement with these families until April or May.  We remain concerned about submitting additional dossiers as the document requirements may change, the process may be different and the processing time frames are unknown.

It does seem that Moldova is experiencing many of the same issues as other countries that have international adoption programs; changes in policies, fewer children available for international adoption, increase in age of children being available for adoption and delays in processing adoptions.  Our facilitator will continue to meet with the authorities to get further clarification regarding changes in the adoption process in Moldova.  At the present time it anticipated that the program will continue to move at a very slow pace.  Families who are not prepared for a longer wait may want to consider another program.  CAS will waive the country transfer fee to another program if families decide they would like to switch programs.  At present time, we will not be accepting new applications to the program until further notice.  If you would like to discuss your family’s situation, please contact me directly and we will set a time to talk about it.

Sincerely,

     Tania Griasnow

Moldova Program Coordinator 

To sum up, this is good news & not so good news. The good news is that the agency is now accredited & registered in the country of Moldova! Yeah! Other good news is we are one of the four families mentioned that will be (hopefully) in the first set of referrals! Double yeah!! The not so good news is that March will probably not be the month they begin giving referrals, which we hoped for. (It's not really "not so good news" as much as it is "not the news we were hoping for.") The real not so good news is that many of the other families have dropped out of this program, so there are less families waiting to adopt these kids. Also, adopting from Moldova will have longer waiting periods. :(

We are in the process of finalizing & updating paperwork, physicals, immigration forms, etc. so we are 100% ready when we finally do get the call. (Technically we were 100% ready when we submitted our dossier to Moldova last Jan. but, things were beginning to expire & therefore, had to be redone.) We also had to redo some paperwork & clearances since our originally local agency closed & we had to start again with a new agency. We have decided to expand our age range now to request a girl between the ages of 3-7 years old. This may help us get a referral since it includes a larger age range & an older child. 

Lastly, I would like to thank each & every person that has asked us about our adoption. I realize many people are unsure whether they should bring the subject up. Please know that we feel fortunate to be able to talk about all of adoption's ups & downs. We are very blessed to have the support of so many friends & family, especially those who have been down this road before. We can't wait for the day to be able to share great news with all of you! Right now, we are just dreaming of that day & hoping that we might be filling up our summer with lots of travel!

Why I like cleaning up dog poo

I don't know if you have a dog but, if you do, chances are good that your dog is going to have an "accident" in the house. It makes sense, that the bigger your dog is, the bigger the "accident" will be. We have a Lab. A larger than average Lab. I'm guessing (you see where I'm going) that when he has an "accident", that I'm cleaning up a larger than average "accident."

So, the day came recently, when our larger than average dog had a larger than average accident. OK, I will be honest...IT WAS HUGE! It was overwhelmingly huge! Maybe...it's possible, that this overwhelming feeling was compounded by lack of sleep. Lack of sleep, caused by a dog pacing, which caused a husband to lock said dog in basement after letting him out several times. "This dog can't have to go again!" Right? Wrong! Fast forward to morning. While we are racing around, trying to get out of the house on time, a child goes downstairs to check on the bunny. This is when the dreaded shriek is heard... Ohhhh ggrrosssss!" I have heard this before & I know what this means. With a sigh, I stop what I'm doing to see what the damage is. Note, I did not ask child to rely info- it is never helpful. This is exactly when I feel grossed out, disguised, upset, angry, overwhelmed & utterly hopeless. So, I turn around & walk back upstairs. Unsure of what this means, my husband asks politely "where are you going?" My reply was simple. "I'm leaving, I'll deal with this later."

Fast forward to night. I'm cleaning up dog poo that's been there all day. It's not going well & I'm still angry, upset, overwhelmed, etc. As the kids pass by, they cautiously ask how it's going. I sweetly & very softly (not) reply that I am tired. I'd rather be in bed. This is gross. I hate cleaning up everyone's messes & if they ask for another dog when this one's gone, the answer's NO & this is why! Not my finest moment... As I continued to clean, alone, ranting in my head to myself, I realize that I don't have to have a dog. I don't have to clean up dog poo! I don't have to have cats. I don't have to clean up cat puke! I don't have to have a bunny or chickens...why stop there? I could have someone else clean my house. I'd have to get a job. I wouldn't be able to homeschool. I wouldn't see my kids. I guess, if it's the messes I don't want to clean up, then it would probably be easier to just not have kids... But, is that really what is this about? Messes? Messes are a part of living, they are a part of kids & they are certainly a part of having pets. But, to give up all these messes, I'd really be giving up all the things I hold dear in my life. These things are the frosting on the cake. I don't want to give up these things! I love being a mom & feel blessed to be able to stay home with them.

So, I had a decision to make. How did I feel about cleaning up dog poo? I decided, I liked cleaning up dog poo! Ironicly, we now have a circular stain on our basement carpet which is highlighted, no joke, by one of our ceiling spotlights. So the next time you visit our house, don't be startled by the stain that will be forever on our carpet. It serves as a reminder for all the messes I am blessed to clean up everyday.

Note for next time: stains come up better the quicker I deal with them... :)

Waiting, what's up with that?

It’s been awhile. I know. It’s been rough. It’s hard to write when days are full of emotional roller coasters. Then add the full schedule of homeschooling life…and that brings us to today, 4 months since the last post.  Waiting’s not easy. I’m not good at it. Although, I think I’m getting better at it. Well, moving on… I read another blogger call this adoption waiting process “Waiting Purgatory.” That’s about how I feel. We wait, still no girl.

Moldova is now finished with their new adoption law changes. What does this mean exactly? I don't know exactly. No one seems to know exactly. But, we are pleased that the process is done & referrals should be coming in again soon.

Christmas is coming. It’s unlikely (highly unlikely, but you see I still hold it possible in my mind)  that she’ll be home. I’m still holding out hope that we may get the call before Christmas. Would that make it easier or more difficult? The problem is- I FEEL ready. I feel like I’m ready for all of this to happen today, right now to be honest (ring phone, RING!)  But, God’s not moving any faster. Her bed is ready, the sandbox is ready, clothes in different sizes are ready,Christmas gifts from last Christmas & now this upcoming Christmas are ready. Aren’t we ready?

I packed away winter clothes thinking “Next time I unpack these clothes, maybe she’ll be home.” Summer ended. I packed away summer clothes assured “When I unpack THESE clothes, she’ll be home!” Yes, it’s the clothes…unpacking winter clothes won’t bring her home but, YES it’s the unpacking of the SUMMER clothes!!!  But, alas, I’ve unpacked winter & summer clothes several times now…still no little girl in that 4^th bed. So, we wait. We wait & I dream about what it’ll be like when that phone does ring. What will I say? What will we do next? How fast can I get there!!! Then the thought occurs to me. Have I thought about today? What are the plans for today, Lord? What about today. Yes, waiting is hard. But, I am thankful that I have today…girl or no girl.

What to do when the encourager needs encouragement...

I won’t lie, it’s been a tough month!  We received an update from our adoption agency a few weeks ago saying that summer’s a slow time for business in Europe & basically their process to get reaccredited has gone nowhere fast.  I am trying so hard to be patient but, really I am not a patient person.  I suspect, this is exactly why I am still waiting…the Lord’s working on my patience again.  Really?  Didn’t we do this when my kids when little? I thought we were done with this! Well, apparently not.

I actually started this blog in my head many times before today.  It started out “I’m in a bad place right now…”  Who wants to read that?  I just couldn’t get myself to type out the words because I had nothing good to say. You see, I’m an encourager. That’s what I do. I am compelled to encourage someone when I hear them down or needing someone to talk to. I just can’t walk away until I feel I’ve done my part.  So what do you do when you’re the encourager & you need to be encouraged?  I talked a lot to my husband, prayed & prayed again, dumped on a few friends, gone to church, cried on the phone to my father-in-law, searched my Bible & tried to be patient!  I’d like to say that I have it all figured out & list my solution for you. But, the truth is that I’m struggling to find my way through this adoption journey.  

What I can say is when you receive a small sliver of hope, or an email from your adoption agency, a day can make a huge difference.  (Here’s where I get to wrap up the blog on a positive!)  The email said that they have received the new regulations from Moldova, which they were waiting for, & now things are starting to move forward again. Yeah, double yeah!  Since I received that news, I am now able to write this blog for the month of July- plus it’s the last day of the month & I just can’t stand having a month without a little 1 next to it in the right column :o).  So, we continue to prepare for our new daughter as the days pass & not let our hope fade as we wait upon Him…PATIENTLY. 

P.S.  I refinished the sandbox & Hannah helped me fill it with new sand. She can’t wait to play in it with you!