The orphanage visit

The dirt road is lined with beautiful tall trees on each side. A fence wraps around the orphanage building. Around the side of the main building is a sidewalk leading to a garden where the flowers are in bloom. There are walking paths around & playground equipment toward the back.

We enter the main building & are directed to the Orphanage Director's office. She looks like what I imagined a typical middle aged Russian woman would look like. She glances at us & doesn't break a smile. The statement we heard previously "they're excited you're coming" obviously didn't include her. I find out quickly that she is very skeptical of us & not a fan of foreign adoptions. She has heard some horror stories of Americans abusing/killing children adopted from Russia. (To date, there are 19 cases reported.) The day we arrive in Russia we were warned that another story ran on the news about an American doctor using his adopted Russian girls in experiments. Bad timing indeed. This Orphanage Director feels she is the safety net for all of her kids who are adopted. Once they leave her care, she can no longer make sure they are safe. This is the time she makes sure they will be. She takes her job very seriously. She wants to know why we want these two kids if we already have three kids. She wants to know why we are adopting. She wants to know if we are unable to have more biological children. There are many words exchanged between our translator & the director. Obviously, they are talking about us, but no one translates. She doesn't seem convinced, yet allows us to go see the children.

We follow the group of ladies into another building. There is our translator, the Orphanage Director, a government worker who will supervise our visit & us. We walk into another building where there are about 5 boys, who look 7-13 years old, hanging out on a sofa watching tv. All of them stop momentarily to say hello to us. We pass a few small rooms on the right which look like large closets. There are painted pipes in rows & shoes all lined up neatly across from them on shoe racks. The pipes must be for drying winter/wet clothes. The last room looks like a small classroom. It has a double row of small desks with chairs facing a larger desk & chair at the front of the room. At the end of the hall, we make our way up the stairs to turn left & enter an open room. This is the room from their video! It has a conference table & 6 chairs to our left, followed by a room divider & a play area with couches behind. On the right, there's a large stuffed bunny on a sofa that is surrounded by many small potted plants.  Lera & Oleg are there with the Orphanage Psychologist playing on the floor with toy animals. They are dressed up for their time with visitors. She is wearing a short sleeved cotton dress & big white ribbons on her ponytails. She has on striped socks & black sandals w/ a fancy diamond gem. He is wearing a short sleeved camo shirt with a collar & matching shorts.  He has on socks & soft shoes. Their hair looks like it has just been trimmed.

In case you don't know, I cry easily. I cry watching movies, commercials, listening to songs & just thinking about happy or sad things. One aspect that makes me cry often is my kids. I have tried to prepare myself to not cry when we meet them so they won't be confused or upset. But, they are beautiful! One look at their smiling faces & I am no good. I try to say hi in Russian but dare not try another word as I can feel myself getting choked up. Of all the times I have tried to play this moment out in my mind, I stand there paralyzed. Luckily, it seems that our translator has done this before & she suggests that we sit on the couch & watch them play. I am still trying my best to hold it together as I wipe small tears from my eyes. I try hard to keep smiling as Lera continues to look up at me.

She shows us animals. Oleg names them. She organizes them in groups. I can tell they are a little nervous & trying to show us how smart they are. They both use color pencils to color in pictures. On the opposite page, there is an example of the picture already done. I sit down on the floor w/ Oleg. I watch him color. He tries so hard to stay in the lines. Slowly I inch closer to him & ask him if I can help. He nods when I pick out a colored pencil & point to the area where I'm going to color. Corbin sits w/ Lera to watch her. She is very serious about her drawing. She wants it to be perfect.

Our translator suggests we give them the gifts we brought. Since our luggage was late, all the items I had carefully chosen to pack are not w/ us. We were able to make a quick stop at a local market. We picked out a small red truck for Oleg. For Lera, we chose a Barbie doll that says Happy Wedding in English on the package. It has a fancy dress, makeup compact &a plastic pink crown on a clip. Oleg tries to open the truck packaging but needs help. He hands the box to Corbin. There is a screw in the back & of course, no one has a screwdriver. Eventually Corbin frees the truck. Oleg is excited that the top of the cab comes off & it has a spare tire he sets into the bed.

Lera opens her box, but has trouble undoing where the doll's hair is sewn to the cardboard. She asks the psychologist for help & she suggests that she ask me to help her. I manage to untangle the hair. Lera picks up the tiny brush & straightens her hair. Next, she gets her doll ready by separating her hair into two parts. Then she braids one side & asks the Psychologist to braid the other. Halfway she braids them together. Lera sets her new doll in the baby doll stroller w/ her accessories. She strolls her over to the short table & makes a tea party for her doll. I ask to join in & we play for awhile. 

When she's done, she moves over to a large bookcase & picks out a book. She reads us the small Russian book. Oleg comes over to listen to her. He tries so hard to be quiet while his sister reads but, those wheels make that cool noise when they are pulled back. It is too tempting for a little boy! After the book, we pull out some puzzles. Lera has hexagon colored plastic pieces that fit together. She makes flowers & butterflies just like the girl on the box. Oleg puts together his own puzzles. They are so very busy & hardly speak.

Too soon we are told it's time to go. Although I really don't want to, I am relieved to be able to relax soon & not feel like I am on display. Maybe Lera feels the same way, too. After we step out of the building, I can feel my eyes begin to well up, but I can't stop the tears from falling. Our translator steps back confused. "Suzanne, why are you crying?" Does she not understand? I've waited so long for this day. "I don't want to leave them," I reply. I'm not sure she understands. I don't know what else I can say. Maybe she's not a mom.