To Denver!

Early rise, 8:45 flight. I am happy to be heading home. This has been a busy trip, both physically & emotionally exhausting. 

As I pack up our things, sadness fills my heart. I wonder why. I am ready to go home, to go back to the place where all is familiar & comfortable. I realize it's because now I am leaving two children behind. I have come full circle. When we left for Russia, I was full the anticipation of meeting the two children I held in my heart. I was also saddened to leave behind my first three. Now, I am anxious to get home to them, but at the cost of leaving here my two new ones. 

I have never been good at leaving my children w/ other people. I have always preferred taking them w/ me, wherever I go. But, that's not always possible. After this first trip, I realize that this is one of those times. I must trust their care to others as we make this transition. Luckily, all of them are in good care & I can trust that God is watching over all five of them.

At the airport, my heart jumps at the sound of a little girl speaking Russian as she plays.  For a moment, I thought it was Lera. I can picture her face. I take in a deep breath. I hope her knows that I'm thinking of her.