A short flight & one long flight home

morning temperature: Moscow -21 C, -5 F
day temperature: Denver 24 F

It's 4am, Corbin & I are up getting ready. We wake up the kids at 4:30 & finish throwing things in bags. The kids are both like zombies. They are up, getting dressed, brushing teeth, packing their suitcases, but seem like they're not quite awake. By 4:45 we are in the lobby waiting for our driver. At 5 am we are in the car on the way to the airport. By now, we are used to L's catatonic state whenever we ride in cars. At least it doesn't seem so odd this time because it's so early.

Of course, we arrive at the airport in full snow gear so, upon entrance we strip the kids down to just their clothes, sneakers & a jacket. Everything else gets packed in the last empty bag. The kids have got their backpacks. We ask the airline employee to translate to them that we will leave their suitcases here & they will arrive in America...it's a stretch, but we are prepared to carry them on if need be. Luckily, they're only half-awake so they don't seem any more distressed, then they are already, about leaving their suitcases.

Now on to customs. We take the escalator upstairs & the kids are falling over! They are searching for balance & unsure what to grab. We realize this is probably their first escalator ride! I can't say it was a ton of fun, but we made it up w/o either of them crying. The line for customs is short for families, which is great. We just want to get through this airport & onto that plane! Our turn...the agent takes her time looking at our American passports. She doesn't speak English. She begins to look at the kids Russian passports & asks questions. Of course, we still don't speak Russian so she gets nowhere. She calls a supervisor on the phone & we wait. The supervisor asks us if we speak Russian. I answer no, but L does. I understand enough to know that she asks L if we are her parents. She answers no. What? I try to not look alarmed & smile...what else can I do? The supervisor asks O the same question & he gives the same reply. Really? She comes around from behind the counter & bends down to talk w/ the kids. In different words she rephrased the same question. We finally get a yes from L-yahoo! Then O repeats what his sister said- relief! She asks us in English if we have paperwork in Russian from the court. Yes, yes, yes we do! Please read it, read all of it, we need to get out of here! We are extra cautious because of the pending adoption ban for Americans adopting Russian children. Everyday things seem to be getting worse, not better. If we wait any longer & we may get stuck here...and miss Christmas! Praise God all is in order & the supervisor lets us through. Hopefully, this will be the last snag.

We buy some snacks; I grab a coffee; we board the plane. The kids are excited for their first plane ride. Eventually, L crashes out next to me for about an hour. O hits overdrive at that point. It's still early morning & the other passengers are not thrilled that we keep taking pictures of O. He is laughing & is totally impressed w/ all of the things he can do w/ the travel pillow! Literally, he crashes hard the last 10 minutes of the trip. We try to gently wake him, but instant meltdown occurs & we decide it's better to deal w/ cranky sleepy kid when the plane lands than hysterical crying kid now.

We have landed in Frankfurt, Germany. We get a bite to eat, walk a bit to stretch our legs. We were warned that if we missed our flight & had to stay the night, we would then need to go to the Russian Embassy. The kids will become American citizens when we touch down on American soil. Until then, they are Russian citizens. Russians need a visa to go to Germany, but a stop-over is fine. Again, everything goes smoothly...until we board the plane. We realize that our seats are not together. The airline employee says that we need to wait until we board the plane to change this. They let us board first because we have small children. Then they tell us to wait until the rest of the passengers have boarded to change our seats...it seems like there should be an easier way. This airline is German, which leaves an interesting situation because our family speaks English or Russian, but not German :) Eventually, they can get us 2 seats here & 2 seats there.

We get settled in our seats. It's chaotic & I can't find where they put Corbin & O. L seems alright, so I don't make a big deal of it. She is excited to see she has a tv. She turns it on, off, on, off, volume up, volume down, changes channels, plays music, etc. for 20 minutes. By the time she looks around, she realizes that we are in the air climbing. In a split second, I can see sheer panic come over her. She is pale, she is clammy...oh yeah, you know what's coming. I search the seat pockets. Don't they have these airsickness bags in every seat? You know the ones that are always in your way that you never need...well, now I need it & I need it now! I look over to see her cheeks bulging & her hands covering her mouth! I'm in a panic, too! I press the attendant button. I'm still searching & I can't find bags anywhere! I press her attendant button- why aren't they coming? A mom across from me realizes I need help...she speaks German, of source. I give her the int'l sign for puking & she hits her attendant button & begins searching for those bags, too. Backup is the airline magazine...doesn't work well :( but, I can't wait anymore. It's spilling everywhere. We head back to the bathroom. I find 2 airline attendants in their seats & they tell me we need to sit down. Apparently, the seatbelt sign is on...I am so frustrated there are no nice words! I give them the int'l sign for pukage & get L to the bathroom. Of course, she's all done, but at least I can throw away this magazine.

We get back to our seats & I inspect the damage...we have just begun a 9.5 hour flight w/ no extra clothes. Amazingly, there is no damage! Not on the seat, not on her clothes...I'm utterly amazed. The attendant comes over to give us wet towels. She mentions that there are airsickness bags...don't even start! I explain my dilemma. Recently, they decided to put these bags in the new 2nd pocket behind the tv...information that would have been useful earlier :) she is very sweet & finds us seats closer to Corbin & O, so L can see them. She checks on them regularly during the remainder of the flight. O spends most of the flight napping on Corbin. I spend most of the flight talking the ear off of the guy beside me. L spends most of the flight switching activities every 5 minutes for 9.5 hours. I have been rattled ever since the vomit incident & it doesn't subside until the last hour of the flight.

Finally, we arrive in Denver. On our way out of the terminal, there are huge glass walkways. We can see the Colorado plains & snow covered mountains. I get teary. We did it! We made it! We are finally home! I look down at L. She is home, too & it feels anything, but home. I had so many things I wanted to tell her, but it took all I had not to cry. In the end, I managed to point out the windows & say "America!" & put a fake smile on.

Customs, Immigration & finally out the glass doors to see the faces of our friends & family. There were friends w/ their biological children & their adopted children. There was Grandma, Grandpa, brothers & sister. This is where our new life begins. One journey is completed & our next journey begins.

Slowly, we will find our new normal.

Last day in Moscow

temperature today: Moscow -17 C, 1 F

This is our last full day in Moscow. We do our best to translate for the kids that tomorrow we will be going home on the airplane. We decide for lunch to walk to a McDonald's we saw not too far away. It is cold! Before we make it out of the hotel, a middle-aged hotel employee sees us heading for the door. He stops me & tells me it is very cold today. He says that L needs thicker pants. We were warned by a number of people that strangers in Russia will scold you on the street if they think you did not bundle up your children enough. I smile at him & say OK. I head back up the elevator (their new favorite toy) & to the room w/ L. We put on her snow pants & grab O's as well. Before we head out, we put O's snow pants on, too. I'm sure to spot the employee on our way outside & say thank you as we leave for our walk.

It is cold, but it feels good to be outside. We make a stop at a bookstore & let each of the kids pick out a book. Thank goodness we warmed up inside because the McDonald's ends up being farther away than we remember. It's crowded. Finding a table for 4 isn't going to be easy. Lucky for us, two woman are just leaving & offer us their table. When one realizes we speak English, she asks where we are from. She's a lawyer & has done adoption work in the past. She is happy to hear that we have adopted these children & that they are siblings. This is a question we are always asked in Russia, "Are they siblings?" I think because it's popular for Russians to have only one child, siblings are less likely than a single child to be adopted by a Russian family. It's nice to hear Russian people speak positive about Americans adopting here, especially given the pending ban.

Corbin waits in the long line to order, although it's hard to make out exactly where the line is. We plan to order a variety of items since we don't know yet what they will eat. He ends up w/ most of the food we wanted. There are certain items that Russian McDonald's staff seem to understand easily: Big Mac, Fries, Coke, etc., but most Russians don't speak English & the same is true here at the Moscow McDonald's. Corbin decides to just take the order as is since the line is long & he's already struggled once trying to order in Russian.

The kids seem excited at the sight of the food although I'm sure they have never had McDonald's before. Before long, we notice a young woman sitting at the next table staring at us. I'm guessing that she's not too happy w/ either the fact that we are Americans or that we just adopted Russian children. After a short conversation, we decide it's just best we finish up & head out.

OH MY GOODNESS, it's cold!!! I'm so glad that we put snow pants on the kids because my legs are frozen! We get back to our room & soon after our driver arrives w/ the kids' visas. What a relief! We eat, get ready for bed & Skype one last time w/ the kids at home. L & O decide that maybe this IPad voodoo isn't so bad. Soon they are showing off all of their belongings for their new sister & brothers. T, J & H play along by oooing & ahhhing at everything. Finally, it's time to say goodnight & call it a day. Can't wait to get home :)

Day 3 w/ the kids

temperature today: Moscow -17 C, 1 F

I slip away early to grab a cup of coffee while the kids are still asleep. It is so nice to sit in silence for a few minutes. We have been stuck in this hotel for days w/ 2 small kids who have little to do. We have read every book, colored every page, watched every tv show, walked, ate, swam & it seems like the days are much longer than 24 hours somehow.

I return to the room & Corbin pulls me into the bathroom. He hands me the paper. The Moscow Times front page says that the government just passed a law yesterday that will ban foreign adoptions from Russia. This ban is set to begin January 1st. Are you kidding me? Tomorrow we are to obtain visas for our kids to leave Russia. Technically, they are Russian citizens until they are 18 years old even though legally their parents (us) are Americans. Russians are not allowed to leave Russia & enter the US w/o a visa from the Russian government. There is nothing we can do but wait to speak w/ our driver later today.

Our driver tells us not to worry. He says many people are upset by this news & it will need to be voted on 2 more times before it moves on to the next branch of government. They will need to vote on it 3 times before it would then move to the President. We are on our way to the US Embassy to get our children's paperwork in order. Most of the people inside are Russians getting visas to visit America. We do meet a few Americans though. One southern couple just adopted a baby. They are leaving tomorrow. It's nice to speak w/ people in English. Once you do though, you stick out like a sore thumb. It calls attention to the fact that we are American. This can be good or not so good. Some Russians have strong opinions about Russian children being adopted by non-Russians. While we are out of the hotel, Corbin & I try to not speak too much. I use the few Russian words I know to talk w/ the kids. Since they speak Russian, we usually get by as Russians. Once we are heard speaking English, the gig is up.

L spends much of the time singing a song or poem repeatedly. We think this is the same one we heard her sing during one of our visits to the orphanage. A woman next to us is waiting w/ her 2 boys. She strikes up a conversation w/ Corbin. She doesn't speak great English, but enough to make small talk & ask about our children. She tells us that the kids are beautiful. She also thanks us for taking them & says that we are good people. I suppose you have to be willing to hear the good & the bad. If she didn't hear us speaking English, then she wouldn't have said anything. Then we wouldn't have heard the positive comments from those Russians who are happy we are here.

As we leave the building, we see a large memorial set up in the front of the building. It is for the Connecticut school shooting that just happened. There are flowers, stuffed animals, posters & letters all along the fence. It is all covered w/ a thin layer of this morning's snow. It is a good reminder that while we are praising God for the blessings of our two new children, there are also parents mourning the deaths of their children back home today. Thank you Lord for today!

Day 2 w/ the kids

temperature today: Moscow -18 C, 0 F

We are up bright & early today! We dress, make the beds & are ready to brush our teeth. Where's the toothpaste? We had it last night. After searching for it, we explain to the kids that we can't find the toothpaste. L runs off & reappears w/ the tube. Oh, OK thanks. When we finish she grabs the tube back & puts it in her backpack. It looks like we have a new holder of the toothpaste!

We are off to breakfast down the hall. They love the yogurt drink we find in the executive lounge. The employee there speaks to the kids in Russian & returns w/ a 6-pack of the drink for each of them! We are the only family here, but no one seems to care. All of Corbin's business travel is paying off :)

Soon after we get back to our room, the western dr. arrives to examine the kids. He is sent by the US Embassy to make sure the kids are not sick & able to enter the US. Overall, they are healthy. He briefly mentions that we will be buying our dentist a BMW soon, but signs the paperwork & is off. I ponder what he means...

The kids are more comfortable in the hotel today. They explore the room examining every drawer, bag, paper, etc. They are thrilled w/ the many toiletries they discover. Before I can halt four quick hands, they are spraying hairspray like perfume & have shampoo in their dry hair. Well, I suppose it's time to wash hair. As I grab a towel, L has already hung her head over the tub & turned on the water. Of course, nothing is done orderly & after washing two little heads of hair, we now must change into dry clothes, too. I forgot what it was like to have two sets of busy little hands "help" you do everything.

L asks where T, J & H are. With all the confusion, I never really explained that we are staying at a hotel. I try to tell her that this is not our home. We will be here for 3 more days then go home to America. I'm unsure if she understands anything I said.

We decide to venture out for lunch. We had spotted a Chili's nearby. Our server speaks enough English, which makes lunch very easy for us. The kids draw pictures, drink apple juice & speak w/ the server in Russian. She's young & very sweet. Their pizza comes & they are excited! They taste it & are not. Strike one. Luckily, french fries are a winner & that's what they basically eat.

The kids are getting into the habit of holding the room key & trying to open the door as we return to our room. This time, L & O run down the hall w/ the key. She is successful at unlocking the door on the first try. I start to run down the hall, but the door closes before I reach it. "Please tell me that you brought your room key, too." Thank goodness he did & all is right w/ the world. We enter & find no one. Did they not open the right door? Just as I'm about to panic, we hear tiny giggles. "Oh my goodness, where did they go?" Giggle, giggle. "I guess they're not here. Maybe we'll just take a nap." Neither one could hold back a second longer...hahahahahah, blah blah blah, Russian, Russian, Russian hahahaha. Some things are the same no matter where you go :)

Later, we Skype our first 3 kids at home in Colorado. L & O are extremely cautious about this IPad thing. They see us talking into it & other people talking back. They want nothing to do w/ it. They are trying to stay far away from it & not to look at it. How do you say, "you won't get sucked in," in Russian?

It's the end of Day 2 & we are exhausted again. We ask L for the toothpaste & all brush our teeth. At 8:00pm, we are all in bed.

Our first day!

temperature today: Moscow -15 C, 5 F

I can see our driver out the window as the train pulls in. We feel extremely lucky that both kids slept great on the train. Of course, it was after 11pm when they finally fell asleep. This was after they examined each & every item from their backpacks. Wows, ohhs & ahhs were flying around the room. Corbin & I hardly slept. Between the adrenaline, hard seats & bumpy ride, we spent much the night whispering to each other. Life can be surreal!

We arrive at the hotel in Moscow after another catatonic car ride w/ L. As we check in, our bags are being loaded on the bell hop's cart. The kids fetch back their backpacks & decide it's best to hold onto them themselves.  We get to the elevator. The doors open & neither child wants to enter. The walls are glass. I get in & say, "See, it's OK." I'm not convincing them. The bellhop talks to them in Russian & tells them it's alright. They enter cautiously. When it begins to move, I'm not sure exactly which emotion they felt the most. It was strange excitement!

By the afternoon, Corbin & I are utterly exhausted. We end up falling asleep as the kids are watching tv. We wake up to find that they crawled into their bed & fell asleep, too. First day & we have already failed at being their parents! Nice...

We get a second chance about a half an hour later when they wake up. Let's feed you two, bathe you & put you to bed like we're supposed to!

Are we there yet?

night temperature: Kirov -26 C, -14 F

I just want to get to the train. It's a short ride, but L is catatonic. There is nothing that would have prepared me for the rush of feelings that flooded my mind when I realized she was catatonic. She is completely unresponsive. I watch her stare straight ahead w/ no expression as the car drives into the night. We try to catch her eyes. I rub her back. She doesn't answer our translator. I try to see her face behind the snow jacket's hood. She isn't moving at all, just staring. A million fears race through my head about what this might mean. I have my panic moment- "WHAT HAVE WE DONE?" As fast as the fear fell upon me, it is gone again. I remember our training classes. This is hard stuff, certainly overwhelming for an 8 year old! We were told that most orphans are not used to riding in cars. They spend their days, day in & day out, at the orphanage. They eat, bathe, go to school, see the doctor & grow up at the orphanage. There is little reason to leave the grounds. This orphanage is out in the country, in a village. You don't see a lot of cars here. Most people walk regardless of the weather. I realize that the only other time she may have ridden in a car is when she arrived here. What is she thinking? I wish I knew. I may never know her full story, but hopefully, together we can deal w/ it.

We arrive at the train station & wait in the car since it is so cold. Five minutes prior to departure, we exit the car. L is beginning to come out of her funk. As we unload the luggage, I hand L & O the backpacks I packed for them. They are beyond thrilled! We head to the platform to wait for the train. It is cold & dark. Luckily, the train arrives within minutes. We quickly realize that our car is the first one that pasted us as the train approached the platform. Next thing I know, we are running towards the front. Our driver is in first after he grabbed our large luggage, Corbin in second w/ another bag & O in his arms, our translator in third & I am in last place practically dragging L, who is now weighed down by her new backpack. This train is only momentarily stopping & apparently they will wait for no one, even if they see you running!

We make it to the right car, flash all of our paper bling & jump on board. I turn back to see our translator & driver who have helped us navigate the way to where we stand at this very moment. I have only a second, so I say thank you, thank you, blow a kiss & then usher the kids to our cabin. I leave poor Corbin to kick & drag all our luggage behind me. As he pulls the last bag into our cabin, we slide the door closed. We did it! We are here! We have the kids! I rearrange the bags & find my missing glove! Yay! I remember to text Corbin's parents who are waiting to hear from us..."on train, have kids, will arrive in Moscow in the am :)"

Off to get the kids!

We head out to meet our driver. One more long bouncy car ride & we are there! He has a new car. It's smaller. I'm hoping he remembers that we will be picking up two kids when we leave today. I don't ask. It's more comfortable & warmer than his old minivan...definitely less bouncy, which I appreciate.

We have lunch at Corbin's favorite place (wink) just outside of the orphanage. I begged him to order pasta, but alas, he decides to order pizza...again. He has never liked the pizza once here, but still orders it. He tells me that he has a new angle today. He requests just pepperoni pizza. He is denied. That is not on the menu. How about just cheese pizza? No, that is not on the menu either. They have an entire list of pizzas they make. All of them have strange toppings. We are told that they make the pizzas fresh here, but somehow they can not just put on cheese. Whatever. I told him to get the pasta.

Finally, we are on our way to get the kids! It's about 4pm & the sun is setting. We arrive & the director is more friendly this time. She still avoids eye contact, but shows a slight smile to us. We get to the room where we always visit the kids & they are already waiting for us. They are excited, but certainly nervous, too. They are coloring. The psychologist is in the room working w/ another student who is not introduced to us. After a few minutes, she directs our kids to play w/ toys. L pulls out a small dollhouse & O grabs a large car. L takes out all the small animals & divides them into groups. She sets up little trees & gives the animals hay. She then returns to rearrange the small cardboard furniture in the dollhouse. By this time, O is driving around the room w/ his car. He clumsily drives through L's zoo. Trees fall & animals are knocked over. I'm guessing this may have happened before since his sister doesn't mind too much.

The kids leave for dinner briefly while we sit down w/ our translator. The director goes over the kids' schedule & I write feverishly. There are a few last papers to sign. I have a list of questions I'd like to ask if time permits. The kids have eaten in record time & are now back. L remembers the photo books we gave them last time & tells the director they don't have them. They run back to their rooms to retrieve them, but can not find them.

It's time to prepare to leave & the tension in the room increases. We have a complete set of clothes for each of them. The director watches as we pull out shirts & pants, socks & underwear, hats, coats & boots. "These pants are too thin," she says. "We will put snow pants over them," I reply. "The air will go right through this sweater," she says. "We will put this shirt underneath it," I reply. She looks over the coats, hats & gloves. She seems pleased. Russians are serious when it comes to keeping kids warm in the winter. "Scarf? There are no scarves!" She says. (She almost had me on this one. As we were packing the bag I remembered the scarves last & so they were thrown into the side pocket.) "No, I have scarves," I reply...thank goodness! I got the feeling that she was ready to tell us to come back tomorrow since I didn't have a scarf :) Now we are ready. I realize I can't find my glove. Corbin tells me not to worry about it, we need to go. I look everywhere. The kids join in. Corbin offers to buy me a new pair. It's got to be here! The other adults join the search. This is crazy! It's got to be here! I didn't go anywhere else. No luck. Finally, I give in & Corbin hands me his gloves.

As we get to the front of the building the director says something quickly & runs inside. Our translator tells us to wait here. I can see the car. I just want to get in the car. It is cold. The director returns w/ the social worker. They talk w/ the kids, give them hugs, give them kisses & then another big hug. I can see them crying, trying to hold it back. It is hard to watch them. Before we leave she asks me, "Please take care of our children." I can barely respond. "Of course, we will." We are all on the verge on tears & everyone is trying to keep it together for the sake of the kids. I grab their little hands & turn toward the car. We get in.

It is completely dark outside. The car drives slowly on the dirt driveway. As we pull away from the orphanage I turn & see two middle-aged woman watching our car leave w/ their arms intertwined. They turn & embrace each other. I look down at our children. I know they were loved by these women. Although they are happy to have found them a family, it still hurts to let them go...especially to let them go out of Russia. I know they are also worried. They don't know us very well. They have heard horror stories of American parents hurting Russian children. They are taking a chance that we will be good parents to them, that we will love them as we love our biological children & that they will be better off w/ us. Here at the orphanage, the director can be sure that their basic needs are taken care & that they are safe. But, what she can not offer them is a family.

I wondered how this part would play out. Now, I know. It's painful. There are parts of adoption that are painful. You can't undo the pain, you can't make it go away. It's part of the process. I can only do my part to make things better & although leaving the orphanage is painful, leaving my kids there does not make their life better.

Is it time? Is it time?

temperature today: Kirov -21 C, -6 F

It's 4 am. Can't we just start the day? Is anyone else this excited!!! We have wifi here at the hotel so it's a great time to catch up on FB since it's 5pm in Denver.

At 5:50am I can hardly stand it & jump in the shower to get this day on the road! Breakfast is open at 7am & there is nothing I like more when we travel than breakfast :) Corbin's not a fan of the Russian breakfast here at the hotel, but I've grown to really like it. It's sad (for me) that this is our last real Russian breakfast. In Moscow, we stay at the Marriott so most of the food is American-style. At the hotel here in Kirov, they always have some sort a hot cereal, which is never oatmeal, but oatmeal-like. Then there's this egg casserole thing that is white & light, but doesn't taste eggy. When's the next time I'm going to see these cute little curd pancakes that I'm told are so popular w/ the kids? To be truthful, I will not miss the instant coffee.

Kirov, for the last time.

temperature today: Kirov -23 C, -10 F

We arrive in Kirov early, but it's not bright. It's 7:30am & completely dark outside. There's hustle & bustle on the streets, buses, people & cars everywhere. The shop owners shovel the sidewalks, kids walk to school & ladies walk arm in arm, locked at the elbows. Fur is everywhere! Both men & women wear big, fashionable fur hats & fur-trimmed coats. There is dirty slush covering the streets, although the sidewalks are clear.

Today is for paperwork. Our translator meets us at the train & we arrive at some type of government building. We are told to wait on the small wooden bench in the waiting area. Our translator is talking in a back office. A grandmother-type woman enters & starts up a conversation in Russian. We smile & remain silent. She speaks with the woman behind the desk who is busy making Christmas ornaments out of paper & shows her paperwork from her purse. A woman from the back appears & tells the grandmother something that is not pleasing. The grandmother continues on w/ our conversation while putting her paper away & zips up her coat. I can still hear her speaking as the office door shuts behind her. The woman behind the desk just grins & shrugs her shoulders at us.

A little while later, the woman from the back reappears w/ a long string of paper Christmas ornaments. The woman behind the desk comes over & they debate for awhile where they should be hung. Here? No, here! Maybe there? Maybe here? Finally they decide to hang them down the side of the doorway. I'm stumped. Really? That's the best spot? I decide to keep my opinions to myself since I didn't come all the way to Russia to hang Christmas ornaments. The two small Russian women struggle trying to tape the ornaments up high. It is an awkward moment as I sit beside my tall husband. Should he try to help? We quietly mumble back & forth. We decide that it's just too complicated to try to offer assistance. We sit & watch painfully for a moment. Luckily, we are called back to the office. After a bunch of sign here, sign here, we now have official paperwork which lists us as the parents. Yay!

We exit the building about 10:30am & the sun is beginning to rise. Our next stop is the electronics store. It is customary to bring a gift to the orphanage for the children who are left behind. Our translator tells us that they would like a tv. She helps us buy it & then we arrive at the hotel. It is cold...very, very cold!

We are free for the rest of the day. We make a quick stop at a sourveniour shop & then stop at the market for train ride snacks for tomorrow night. Last trip we thought we might go eat in the train restaurant- it didn't turn out well. :) This time, we are planning ahead. For lunch we decide to go back to a cafe we ate at last visit. They had a good chocolate milkshake, which is really more like frothy milk slightly chocolate...but it is good. We walk a bit afterwards just to be outside, but it is so cold! We head back to the hotel for a nap & accidentally sleep until 9pm! Oh well. I hate when we miss dinner. We snack a little, watch Bollywood movies in Russian & finally go to bed at midnight. So excited for tomorrow!

Where to find a hat?

temperature today: Moscow -7 C, 19 F

This is our last free day in Moscow. We start the day off at Starbuck's, which is right near the hotel. The line moves slowly. It's our turn & we fumble Russian words trying to order drinks. In desperation, we settle on any coffee drink that the employee knows the English name for. We ditch our food order last minute.

Afterwards, we decide to shop for one last item. T wants a grey Russian hat w/ emblem. Last time we were here, we saw them everywhere! It was also tourist season. This time, we looked all over to find the one that T requested, no luck. Moscow is pretty at Christmastime :) Long story short- it was very cold, we took a very long walk around Moscow & three hours later we found the hat! T- we love you...I was so cold, your dad was cranky & I got 2 blisters...Yes, I will be reminding you of today's events for years to come :)

Next up, we fill out paperwork while we wait for the train. The sights & sounds are more familiar this trip, but the hard train seat I won't miss. I find myself a bit sad that this is our last trip. It's interesting how strange Russia seemed on our first trip. Everything was new & different. Honestly, we couldn't wait to get back home. Now things feel more familiar & we know what to expect. I wonder what L & O will think about America. We will find out soon enough. We are on the train to Kirov!

We are in Moscow!

temperature today: Moscow -10 C, 13 F

We spotted a tired couple from the US in the passport line. I could just tell by the look on their faces that they were here for the same reason we were. Plus, she was wearing the same boots I was, different color :) Adoption agencies advise clients not to discuss their business in Russia & usually we don't. This time though I want to share our joy, encourage them for their journey & settle any fears that may have. After a few questions w/ vague answers, they knew we were there to adopt as well. The northern CA couple shared that they were on their first trip to visit a sibling set of 3: 6 year old twins & a 5 year old sibling. We chatted through the passport line, through customs & finally while searching for our luggage. We decided to carry on all of the kids' clothes because I was so worried about it getting lost. Ironically, both of us had a missing bag, but then found both bags hiding behind the Customer Service desk...we didn't ask. We said goodbye as our drivers took us to separate exits & I prayed for their trip. It took forever (almost) to get to our hotel. Apparently, we were in Moscow Christmas traffic. It was so hard to keep my eyes open after missing a night's sleep. After an hour & a half ride, our driver joked that it might take another hour to drive the last few blocks. Soon after this comment, we ended up walking behind him the rest of the way to the hotel since the traffic was so backed up. We checked into the hotel, grabbed a bite & then were off to sleep.

To the airport we go!

temperature today: Denver 24 F

We purposely left the morning open so we could have breakfast w/ everyone before we left. Grandpa & I went to the donut shop & then Starbuck's for the kids. I decided to just drink my coffee at home, bad choice- it never happened. I had to order one more Christmas gift I had forgotten (gotta love Amazon!) & then we were off to the airport!

This is it!

It's been a busy week. We finished our math books & officially started Christmas break, got carpets cleaned, cleaned house, packed, got dryer fixed, did laundry, put up Christmas lights, stopped by library, picked up milk, had last PE class & prepared for the grandparents' arrival today. Corbin also fit in a last-minute dentist appointment this morning- he had a crown pop right out of his mouth last night! I had to give up a few items on the list that I just couldn't get done no matter how I planned the day. We still have a pharmacy stop to make tomorrow on our way to the airport & grandma has offered to finished wrapping the presents we couldn't get to. I think we are ready...

My longest birthday ever!

The train pulls into Moscow at 4:45am. Our driver picks us up. It is early, but there is no traffic. He congratulates us on our adoption. He tells us that making our flight will be tight. We will have to run to the airport. Our flight leaves at 6:50am.

It's 5:50am. I can see the airport! He pulls up to the curb, grabs my bag & shouts "run!" Oh, he was serious! I throw my bright pink carry-on over my shoulder & run! Corbin is in front of me with his bag & carry- on. We get through the security line & then we run again. We get to the counter to check-in. Our driver hands me my bag, points to where we go next & says "I will see you next time!" As soon as the words "thank you" come from my mouth, he is already halfway through the crowd. OK, I hope his car doesn't get towed... We get our tickets, wait through customs & arrive at our gate just as they begin boarding. As we sit down in our seats I remember, it's my birthday! It'll be my longest birthday ever. I will start the day here in Moscow, then celebrate in London during our lay-over & finally at home in Denver. What a day!

Our Day in Court!

We are thankful to have a court date today! We had to change our train tickets, extend our hotel in Kirov & cancel our hotel in Moscow, but we should still be able to make our return flight home. It turns out there was a local official, from the town the orphanage is in, who wanted to meet with us. No one scheduled this or told our translator & since a visit is not required, the paperwork proceeded without his signature. The judge called the official yesterday, told him to sign the document & send the social worker to Kirov with it. So, we try this again. We get all dressed up, arrive at the courthouse, show our passports & wait on the fifth floor outside the courtroom. If someone told me 5 years ago, when I began praying for another child, that I would be here, I'm not sure if I would have believed them.

As we are waiting, we spot the social worker walking by. Looks like we are good to go! They call us in. There is a court reporter, the prosecutor, the social worker & another woman we haven't met before. The judge does most of the talking. Through our court translator, the judge asks why we want to adopt more children if we have 3 already. He asks why we want to adopt from Russia & if Corbin's job is stable. He wants to know where our 3 kids are now & if we have enough seats in our car. He probes about adoption issues, special needs issues, cultural issues & language issues. He wants to know how we have prepared for this adoption & how much adoption education we've had. He inquires about how we discipline our kids & especially how we feel about physical discipline. He asks about our church, schools, socialization & if I'm willing to drive 5 kids to different schools every day. Lastly, he asks if we have met the children & if we like them. The prosecutor has only a few key questions for us. Then the social worker gives her report. She sites some observations from our visit with the kids. She mentions the fact the I traced their hands & feet, that Corbin played trucks with O, that I played girl stuff with L, that we bought them puppets, photos & a Skype-like video from our kids, along with gifts for L & O for her birthday which we will miss in a few weeks.

He reads their files. He asks if we have any questions. He asks if we would like to have anything reread again. He briefly retires to his chambers. He returns & grants us the adoption of L & O! He says congratulations & wishes me a happy early birthday. Our court translator escorts us out of the courtroom while he speaks with the social worker.

We were not allowed to take any photos in the courthouse. I would have liked a photo of him with us for the adoption book. As he leaves the courtroom, he stops for a moment in the hallway to shake our hands & congratulate us again.

We get back to the hotel, pack our bags & leave for the train. The next time we return to Kirov, we will be picking up our children's paperwork!

Court?

We are up early & ready to go! It was hard to sleep last night. I ended up praying & checking out Facebook at 4am since we have free Internet. Our translator picks us up at 10:30 & we get a cab. We arrive at the courthouse. The security guard at the desk asks for our passports. He remarks about Obama winning the election a few hours ago. We walk through the metal detector & another guard looks through my bag. We wait upstairs on the fifth floor. Our court translator shows up & briefs us on some of the common questions the judge will ask. She tells us that there is no need for the photos we brought with us. This judge will not want to see them. It is almost 11am & everything is set. Our translator asks the court translator if the social worker has arrived. She calls her. I comment to Corbin that many Russian people seem like they are yelling by the tone they use. We are told that court usually takes about 30 minutes. I look at the time. In 30 minutes from right now, we could be the parents of 5 children! I thank God that He has brought us here. There were so many roadblocks, so many times that I cried out to Him because it seemed like this was never going to happen! But, here we are. 

I'm rapidly shaken out of my day dream. Our translator is upset & is actually yelling. She tells us that there is a problem. I smile but, say nothing. She explains to us that the social worker who observed us on Monday is not present. She is the witness from the Ministry of Education & holds part of the documents we need. Apparently, there was a signature missing from one of the documents therefore, she didn't come. OK. There are no words. OK. What else can you say? We are here. We are ready. We are all dressed up for goodness sakes! It is quite a strange feeling to not have any particular feelings about something so important. Maybe I'm in shock? I just wear this odd smile across my face because I know there is absolutely nothing in the world that I can do. Calmly, I pray- alright Lord, how are you gonna get us through this one? I am fully aware that the judge could tell us that we will need to reschedule & that could be three months from now.

The door opens. They call us in. The judge explains that we can not proceed since the paperwork is not complete & the witness is not present. Since the orphanage is a 5 hour drive from the courthouse, there is no way that this can happen today. He tells us to come back tomorrow morning at 10am. Thank you Lord ;)

Day in Kirov

We arrived back to Kirov late in the evening last night. We're up in the middle of the night again. We chat & watch some Bollywood movies in Russian. It's a free day today. We try a little cafe for lunch & get some souvenirs. Tomorrow is our day in court!

Our visit :)

We are here! After a quick stop for lunch, we have arrived at the orphanage! It is a holiday today so all the kids have a day off school. We ring the doorbell & wait, and wait, and call, then wait some more. The Orphanage Director arrives with her husband through the gated entrance with the key. She lets us in. She makes small talk w/ our translator & the lady from the Ministry of Education, who is here to observe us, while people take turns using the bathroom. The Director points out the 8x10 photos on the wall. These are kids who have graduated her boarding school (orphanage) & have been successful after they left. Some kids have graduated college, others have gained honors in the military. The Director is very proud as she points to different pictures & speaks in Russian about their accomplishments. As I look at the pictures I wonder, do they look Russian? If I saw them in the US, would I know they were Russian?

Finally, we are ready to go. The Director leads us to the same room we met L & O in last time. The door opens & they are there waiting for us! They wear great big smiles on their faces. It's so good to see them! I can immediately tell that they have been told that we would like to adopt them. We were worried about what they would think. Last visit we were just 2 visitors, Corbin & Suzanne. It's obvious they are happy to see us & I'm so relieved. Right before we arrived at the orphanage, I feel a sense of panic set in. What if they aren't happy to see us? What if they don't want to be adopted by American parents? In that first moment I see their faces, the feeling vanishes. I just want to hug them so tight & not let go. Of course, I don't want to overwhelm them either. As we say hello (da-su-cha), I take off & hang my coat over a chair. There is a slight hesitation on both our parts until our translator says in both Russian & English "we'll, go ahead (nodding) give them a hug!" I give L a hug first & tell her how pretty so looks in her dress & oversized hair bows. Then it's O's turn. He smiles so big it takes up most of his face. I tell him how handsome he looks while I hold his hands in mine & rub on top. 

This visit I don't waste anytime pulling out their gifts! I have 2 hours & an entire list of things I need to do. The visit went so quickly last time, I don't want to run out of time. I pull 4 hand puppets out of my bright pink bag. I tell them the English names for the animals & our translator helps us repeat the Russian names for them. I decide that singing Old McDonald would be a good way to play with all the animals. I start the song & quickly realize that I am alone in the song! I should note that I am not a great singer... Why isn't anyone else singing? I figure out that besides Corbin, no one else knows the words :). Luckily, Corbin joins in soon enough. The kids laugh at all of our animal noises...apparently in Russia the animals say different sounds. Who knew? We have fun tinkling the kids & making the animals kiss. I catch a glimpse of someone watching us. I had forgotten we were being observed. This trip is different from the last time. We have made it through the first round. Now we have returned to make it official & become their parents. I'm not worried about what our observers are thinking. I'm only concerned about the thoughts L & O. Deep breath!

Next, I pull out blank paper & a pen. I show L my hand on the paper & pretend to trace it. Then I point to her hand & the paper. As she rests her hand on the paper I trace it. On her second hand, I make a small noise while I'm tracing. She looks directly at my face with big eyes. So I begin making lots of silly noises as I trace hands, then feet. The kids are laughing & pointing at the little places I made bumps by mistake. I'm purposely trying to make this fun, but honestly I need these so I can buy proper-fitting shoes & mittens. Then I will put these pictures in their adoption book. I also use a ruler to measure their arm & leg lengths. It will be very cold when we return in December & I want to be sure that the pants & shirts are not too short.

Next we bring out the photos we brought. It's a small photo book with pics of us, Tommy, Jake, Hannah, our pets, our house & both their beds. We tell them the names for everyone. We have brought 2 photo books, one for each of them. When L puts hers down, the Director asks to see it. Although she is not making much conversation, she is much friendlier than on our last visit. She smiles at the photos. I imagine her thinking of what their lives might hold as they grow up in our family. I know we are not the parents she imagined when their referral went out. But, for Americans, I think she has decided that we are not too bad. :) We tell them we also have a few short videos from their new sister & brothers. Corbin gets the IPad. Tommy, Jake & Hannah say "hello" to L & O in Russian, then say "my name is..." in Russian. The kids love it! O wants to press the arrow (play button) over & over again! L tries to stop her brother from taking over the IPad. The Director is very excited to see the videos. I move over on the rug to make room for her. When it finishes, she excitedly tells us that she has been teaching the children some English. Of course, we can't whip out the IPad fast enough, as any parent does when you are sure that your child is about to do something absolutely amazing! We get a short video of L & O saying in English "my name is..." Ahhh, priceless!

Before I know it, both kids are drawing on the backs of the paper. O waits patiently for L to hand over the pen. She draws a girl centered in the middle of her paper. She wears a shirt, skirt & has big rosy cheeks. To the left is a big house with windows, which is the same size as the girl. To the right is a small cabin, some flowers & a mushroom. Along the bottom is grass & at the top is a bright sun! O draws a house with windows, mushrooms, grass, raindrops & a larger cabin with legs. Our translator mentions that he often copies what his sister does. He explains to the translator that the cabin in his picture belongs to Baba Yaga. There are Russian fairy tales of this character who lives in a cabin with chicken legs in the woods. She is like a witch & eats small children if she finds them. Fairy tales really are terrifying!

The kids get bored, so we move into the adjoining room to play. I play w/ L while Corbin & O play with cars. I grab my short list of Russian words I wrote down to practice on L while she arranges the dolls & prepares the tea party. I tried to think of all the words I'd use for the next trip when I want them to get dressed for the day. I go down the list trying my best to pronounce the words for shirt, pants, shoes, etc. as I point to the items. She smiles & nods as I say each word. I get to the word for underwear...yeah, I'm just going to skip that one. I'm sure by now she's thinking that I'm just a little strange & I don't want to reinforce that :) 

The Director asks L to help O walk to the bathroom. She does but, mutters something in Russian quickly. The ladies giggle after they leave the room. I wonder if she's telling him to hurry up. She is the big sister after all. We get our five minute warning that our visit is coming to a close. I take a moment to confirm that we will have time to ask more questions when we pick them up. I have a whole list of questions that would be helpful, but not essential. I'd really like to talk with their primary caregivers. We will see. The director tells me that there will be time. She is able to answer the question on bathing. They shower every night, no baths, & have some type of sauna once a week. Ok, this is helpful info. The other questions will have to wait. 

I look at my list quickly. What else do I need to do? I grab my bag. I hand the director 2 disposable cameras. I ask her if someone could take photos of the orphanage, their friends, teachers, etc. for their adoption book. These are probably the only real photos they will have from here. We have seen very little of the other rooms in the building. We have seen few children except those walking in the hallways. I want them to have more than memories of their life here. 

Lastly, I discreetly take out a card & 2 small chocolates wrapped in birthday paper. L's birthday will come before we see her again. I ask if the Director would give these gifts to L & O on her birthday. I am unsure if they celebrate birthdays or not. I am prepared to hand it to them now if its not possible. The director looks pleased & flashes a small grin.

I hate this time. I know we need to say goodbye. Why can't we just take them? Maybe we can just stay here? We all know it's not possible. This is what must happen. As it goes with life so often we say we are ready. We think we are, but maybe not fully ready. God says wait. And that's hard to hear. I hug them each tight. I tell them that we will be back soon. It won't be as long as last time. We are going to prepare a place for you. We watch them as they slowly walk out of the room, their arms filled with puppets & photos. Their faces show big smiles, but their eyes are glazed over. This is where they need to be right now. They will go through the next days & slowly process all this information. There is a reason why today is not the day we take them home. We will be back soon. I promise.

As we walk outside there are children playing on the playground. This seems like a nice orphanage. I'm thankful they have be taken care of here & will be taken care of until we return. Next step- court!

Almost there...

We arrive in Kirov bright & early. We have just enough time for a quick breakfast at the Centralya Hotel. I am not particularly looking forward to the long bumpy ride since I know what to expect this time around. But, I am eager to get this show on the road & see L& O so, off we go!

Can't Wait!

We prepare for our visit w/ the kids tomorrow. We will have only 2 hours to visit, ask questions, get measurements, show pictures & video. I've got to make a list of everything we need to do while there. The next time we see them, we will be bringing them home. This will be the first time we see the kids as perspective parents. Last time they saw us, we were only introduced as visitors. Since then, they have been told that we would like to adopt them. We are unsure how they will respond to us & exactly what they understand. We finish & board the night train to Kirov. We never sleep well on the train, but am thankful we have a sleeper car none the less.

Flexible? Oh Yeah!

We arrived in Moscow, meet w/ our Russian coordinator & then check into our hotel. Plans have changed. The driver who is supposed to take us to the orphanage on Monday & back again on Tuesday morning, can not stay the night as planned. Another driver who can take us is requesting more money since oil prices have gone up since the last time she used him. By law, we need to visit w/ the children at least 3 separate times before the court date. The new plan is to make the 5 hour drive to the orphanage, see L& O only on Monday for 2 hours, then make the 5 hour drive back on the same day. What are we if not flexible? We will still get to see the kids & still be back to Kirov in time for court, just all in one long day. I think we can deal. :)

I Love NY!

We arrive at JFK. My ever faithful friend meets us w/ passports & visas. Thank you A! I'm not sure if she will ever truly understand how grateful I am. What I was not able to do on my own, no matter how hard I tried, she has just done for me out of the goodness of her heart. We are able to chat for awhile, I'm sure talking her ears off.

Too soon it's time for us to say our goodbyes & check in for our next flight. The lady at the desk huffs a bit while she is trying to get our tickets in order. "They were supposed to print this out at Denver for you. I don't know why they didn't, blah, blah, blah."  Corbin & I just look at each other smiling w/o saying a word. She has no idea...

As boarding begins, I call my Dad quickly to let him know that all is well, we are boarding the plane to Moscow. As if on que, as soon as I hear his voice  my eyes well up. It's real for the first time. We are really going to Moscow.

God is Good!

We wake up & get to the airport. We get through airport security w/ our driver's licenses- 1st step down! We arrive at the gate ahead of schedule. We discuss whether we should ask the desk if we can board this plane w/ only our driver's license or if we should just wait until board begins to try to board. Before we come to a decision, our names are called to see the desk attendant. Here we go! We explain the situation & are told that we can not board w/o a passport. We explain that this flight from Denver to JFK is a domestic flight so a valid driver's license should be acceptable. She calls someone to discuss our dilemma. After 10 minutes she calls us back up. Her supervisor says that they will let us on, but we take full responsibility that we can not continue onto the 2nd flight w/o our passports. We agree & sit back down relieved. They call for boarding. As Corbin approaches the counter & hands over his boarding pass, it won't scan. She tries again. The scanner beeps & flashes a red X. She asks him to step to the side. My ticket does the same. We stand next to the door watching the line shrink as people board the plane. Corbin interrupts the woman we spoke w/ earlier to see what the problem is. She explains that the computer won't accept our tickets because it wants her to scan the passports. Does she remember that we just spoke w/ her about this? She said it was ok. She tells us that there's nothing she can do. We explain again the situation. Finally she asks if we want to speak w/ a supervisor...uh, yes! We wait as the last of the line fades. When the supervisor arrives I don't dare speak a word because I know that I will not be able to hold back the tears. Corbin explains the situation again: the storm, the passports, the visas, the Russian Consulate, the flooding, the friend, the court date- all pending on us getting on this flight. We can not delay! We have used up all of the extra days we planned in case of something going wrong! There is no other flight that will get us to Moscow in time w/o missing the court date which means L& O will have to spend another Christmas w/o a family! Thank God this man has sympathy for us & overrides the system by manually checking the box that says he saw our passports. As Corbin returns I can see a smile on his face. The supervisor looks at me & explains good friends of his just returned several months ago from Russia w/ 2 new kids. He smiles & says "Congratulations, you have a good trip." I can barely utter the words thank you & the tears come. We have literally spent days upon days trying to redo, replan & reroute every part of this trip which had fallen apart bit by bit over the last week. And at the very last moment God touched the heart of one person to make all our efforts be fruitful. Thank you Lord, You are an amazing God!

Preparing...

We pack, clean house & make sure everything is ready! We pack only 2 small bags & 2 backpacks all to be carried on. We check into our 1st flight to JFK online so we can bypass the front desk. The system tells us that we will need to show our passports when we arrive at the airport. We have asked tons of people to pray that we will be able to get on this flight. We try to sleep.

More Obstacles

Our travel agency calls. The Russian Consulate himself is coming to open the door & hand over our passports to the travel agency's courier! Praise God! FedEx can not guarantee overnight delivery for packages coming out of NYC. Our flight leaves early Friday Morning & stops at JFK. Our new plan is to fly there, using our CO driver's license as ID, then meet my friend & then check onto our Moscow flight using our passports. We call Delta to double check that this will work. No. They will want to see our passports at Denver because technically we are checking in for an international flight. Also, we learn that we can not use the return flight from our original round-trip tickets. There is a big fee for canceling the tickets & rebooking the return portion. If we do not check in on the first flight, the tickets automatically cancel. It's just under 24 hours since we bought the one-way tickets to NY-Moscow. We can still cancel them for a refund. Unfortunately, we can not find another round-trip ticket which uses NY as a stop-over on Friday. We can't even find a seat for any flight into NY on Thursday. We need to stop in NY so we can meet my friend & get our passports! Our best bet is to buy another set of one-way tickets home from Russia. For a smaller fee, they will let us cancel the original round-trip tickets & use the same flights on another date in the next 12 months. They tell us to call TSA to check again about traveling out of Denver w/o a passport. Denver TSA says no problem. OK, time to get packing! Still praying everything will work...

The Storm of the Century

The main part of the storm is over. The city is still closed. The original plan was to open things back up on Wednesday, but many parts are flooded, including the Russian Consulate's office. They are unsure when they can reopen, if at all this week. We call our adoption agency to see if they can push back our court date in Kirov, Russia. No. If we miss it, we will have to go back to the end of line. A new date will take maybe 3-4 months & they will not be home for Christmas, probably more like Spring. Praying...

Prepare for the Hurricane!

Right after we wake, we call our travel agency to see if our passports w/ visas are picked up. Since Eastern time is 2 hours ahead of us, our hope is that they picked them up early & FedEx would get them outta there before the storm hits. No such luck! The entire city is shut down to prepare for the storm & all businesses will be closed today & tomorrow. The earliest our passports can be picked up will be on Wednesday. Obviously, they will not get to us in time. Plan B- buy a new one-way flight to Russia leaving later in the week & just use the original flight home. We call one of my best friends, who lives just outside NYC, & ask for a huge favor.  She is willing to get our passports & bring them to us at JFK airport on Friday. Next on the list, drop the kids off at the airport & not cry my eyes out. They are heading to Grandma's house, on a plane, ALONE, for 2 weeks while Corbin & I are in Russia. This is a huge step for Momma!

Warning!

As we are shopping at Costco, we receive a call from our travel agency, who are working on getting our Russian visas. They want us to know that they can not control the weather. OK? The visas are due to be picked up from the Consulate on Monday & FedExed to us, arriving on Tuesday Morning. Our tickets to leave the US are for Wednesday. Hurricane Sandy is expected to hit New York, where the Russian Consulate is, on Monday about 7pm. I assure my husband that everything will be fine...I hope.

Trip 2 on the horizon!

We have a court date! We got the call that court is set for November 7th. We are preparing to leave for trip 2 & praying that all goes well. We are told that L has been told of the pending adoption sometime after we saw her. Because she is 7 years old, she must consent to the adoption before court will proceed. We are excited to see her & O now as perspective parents, not just visitors. We hope they are excited, too.

 Yesterday, we received a call from the travel agency processing our visas. They wanted to assure us that the Russian Consulte will have our visas & passports ready on Monday. Great! They also wanted to inform us that although they will be FedExed that day, they have no control over the weather. In case you missed it, because I did the first time, New York City is preparing for a hurricane to hit Monday night. Of course it is! Who's not up for a little excitement! We need to leave here Wednesday at noon. Currently, our passports are due to arrive by 10:30 am on Tuesday...it's a 24 hour window, no problem. Unless, of course, the truck with our passports actually gets blown away during transport...but, really, what are the odds. :)

Posts Temporarily Held

Just a quick note that I pulled back 3 posts this morning temporarily until our adoption is complete. I want to be sure there is no sensitive information that could jeopardize our adoption. Thanks for your understanding.

Ready!

Yesterday was our first full day back. I thought it would have taken me longer to adjust to Colorado time again, but no. I had a full day of relaxing & seeing my family. Now I'm ready to return. Enough said.

To Denver!

Early rise, 8:45 flight. I am happy to be heading home. This has been a busy trip, both physically & emotionally exhausting. 

As I pack up our things, sadness fills my heart. I wonder why. I am ready to go home, to go back to the place where all is familiar & comfortable. I realize it's because now I am leaving two children behind. I have come full circle. When we left for Russia, I was full the anticipation of meeting the two children I held in my heart. I was also saddened to leave behind my first three. Now, I am anxious to get home to them, but at the cost of leaving here my two new ones. 

I have never been good at leaving my children w/ other people. I have always preferred taking them w/ me, wherever I go. But, that's not always possible. After this first trip, I realize that this is one of those times. I must trust their care to others as we make this transition. Luckily, all of them are in good care & I can trust that God is watching over all five of them.

At the airport, my heart jumps at the sound of a little girl speaking Russian as she plays.  For a moment, I thought it was Lera. I can picture her face. I take in a deep breath. I hope her knows that I'm thinking of her.

The Last Day

As our trains pulls into the station, we notice it's raining. By the time we make it to our driver, my shoes are drenched & my clothes are soaked.

As we check into the hotel, we are told that our luggage has arrived. Thankfully, I put on clean, dry clothes. I'm ready to shop! I have some gifts & souvenirs I'd like to bring home. The rain has stopped. We visit Red Square & enjoy our last hours here in Moscow. By the time we have dinner, I am ready to get home. It's been a crazy trip.

Russian doctors & Notaries

We are picked up early w/ a list of doctors to see. We meet someone at the hospital who is supposed to help us mitigate the doctor visits...I'm unsure exactly what this means. She seems nice. There are long lines in the lobby. We skip the lobby. Since we are not Russian citizens, we have no file & they have no way to get payment from the government for us. We go directly to each doctor's office. The buildings look like they are out of a 1940's American movie. They are old, but clean. I am surprised that each doctor actually does all the work. Their nurse sits across from them in another desk. The offices are very basic. There are no computers. Everything is handwritten, in blue ink, signed & stamped. At first, this system seems totally chaotic to me. But after a little while, I begin to see how things work & realize it's just different from what I'm used to. Inside the hospital building, patients walk to each doctor's office. Actually, this makes sense!

Other differences I notice- 

There were no shades on the windows, which is fine, until They ask you to take off your clothes.

I'm asked to pee in a cup. They point to a small closet behind me w/ a curtain. There are 4 buckets, but no toilet or toilet paper.

Things can get lost in translation! They were confused as to why I regularly see a dermatologist for skin cancer if I do not have cancer & Corbin tried to tell the neurologist that he IS a doctor! Awesome!

We were able to have our lab work & X-rays done in the US. This is great, but also meant that we had to hand-carry these X-rays through 4 airports, a train, several cars & many taxis. We look a little ridiculous carrying these large X-rays around. At the hospital, our translator tells us that we could have brought them on a disk, which is interesting since we didn't see one computer in the entire building. When all the doctor visits are complete, we notice that no one asked us for them...figures.

Next, we head over to the Notary's office. A court appointed translator meets us there. As she chats w/ our adoption agency translator, she pulls out a computer disk...it's a floppy! Good thing we didn't bring our X-rays on disk! I'm not sure where we would have gotten a floppy disk.

Finally it's our turn. Our court appointed translator asks us to review the document, which is in both Russian & English. We do & sign the bottom. It is now official! We are petitioning the court for the adoption of L & O. We now wait for the court date to be set...yeah! We board the train back to Moscow & hope to see our luggage upon arrival!

Visit Two

We arrive to the meeting room shortly before Lera & Oleg. They seem happy to see us again. They are in the same clothes from yesterday. I read that many Russians will wear the same clothes for a few days before washing them. The kids immediately pull their new gifts from where they left them yesterday. We are told that all things are shared, they have nothing that is only theirs. I expect that these toys we brought them will be left at the orphanage when we take the kids home.

We are dressed a little more casual today. I have on Capri pants. I sit to play w/ Lera on the floor. I notice her eyes glance over to my legs & then she returns to playing. I wonder if she finds it odd that I am not wearing a skirt. In the villages, people dress much more traditionally than in Moscow. Most women wear dresses or skirts. Many have scarves on their heads tied under their chins. It seems popular to have long hair either braided or pulled back in a bun.

As we play w/ Lera & Oleg, the other ladies sit to chat in Russian around the table. It's a little nerve racking to feel like people are watching your every move & commenting about it. After a half hour, we are told that it's time to talk at the table. We have a list of questions that we would like answered. The orphanage doctor is here today. We ask the questions, wait for translation, listen for the answer & then wait for translation again. We have never received any actually paperwork on Lera & Oleg, everything has been verbal. I write as fast as I can. There is so much information at once. I don't want to forget anything. One day, my kids will ask me about these things. Dates are given for a number of things which will help us later try to piece together their story. There are a few times when answers are vague & we push. Every detail will be important to them as they grow older. At this point, I am unsure what paperwork we will receive , if any, as far as their original files go. 

One important detail we are able to clear up is Oleg's age. We were told originally that he was 4. From our video, we were able to translate his month of birth & realized that he was 5. Yesterday, we were told at least three separate times that he was 4. Today we clarify his birthdate. It's quiet. I mention again about the confusion about the birthdate. It's quiet. Finally, someone says that he is now 5. Corbin & I talked about this later. We really do not feel that they were trying to mislead us into believing that he was younger than he really was. I believe that unfortunately, he had a birthday shortly after they prepared the referral paperwork & it was just overlooked. It makes me sad that our little boy turned 5 & no one noticed. I'm unsure if he knew he had turned 5 either.

Soon after our visit ends. The kids give me a hug & Oleg gives Corbin a hug. Lera is still unsure about Corbin & shys away. We were warned before visiting that many of the children are weary of men. Most of the adults they see are women. The kids stand next to each other w/ big smiles on their faces as we take one last photo. It's hard to walk away from them. I know we will be back. I know they are taken care of here. I know the staff loves them. I also realize that they would not be ready to come home today. They have had fun w/ their visitors, Suzanne & Corbin. I'm sure that they have some idea about what is going on. I'm sure there must have been other kids who had visitors & they came back to adopt them. But, for today we are just visitors who came to play w/ them & bring them toys. Tomorrow we will sign the papers to petition the court to adopt them. One step at a time.

The interesting hotel

When the car stops I am taken back when our translator tells us to step out. Why? Where are we? I thought we were going to the hotel...apparently, this is the hotel. OK, no problem, we can deal. I'm not high maintenance. One bed, one pillow & a toilet that needs fixing- this is our first impression. We skip dinner & go straight to bed, it's 7:20pm. I'm up at 11pm. It looks like Corbin never fell asleep. He is watching Russian tv w/o volume. After 30 minutes, I decide that having one pillow for two people is just crazy. I don't want to wake up our translator so, I take the pillow & key w/ me. My plan is to point to the pillow & then hold up two fingers. Very creative, I know. 

I end up lost, half asleep, w/ my pillow, standing in front of elevator that doesn't work. I am unsure if I have gotten turned around or if the elevator let me out, but won't open in the lobby since it's after hours. There is music coming from a room down the hall. A little girl runs in & out dancing w/ balloons in her hands. I am too embarrassed to let anyone know I am lost. Besides, I don't know how to say that in Russian anyway. After a short time, the owner happens to come around the corner & sees me. I execute my plan A. She laughs & retrieves a pillow from another room. She walks me to my room & I manage to say thank you in Russian.

Morning comes although we've been up since 3am. The shower only has lukewarm water. Since we slept on the train last night, which had no shower, I can't skip it because I have no idea what the next night will hold. The pipe from the shower head dumps out into the sink. We figure out how to turn it on & it leaks all over. I get in & try to finish as fast as I can. Corbin flushes the toilet & all water to the shower ceases. He has to manually pull the plug in the toilet tank to get it to flush. It doesn't seem to fit exactly where it was prior as I stand there cold. Eventually, he is able to fill up the tank & get the water redirected to my shower. 

In the cafe, we eat hot rice cereal & tea. It seems tea is more popular than coffee here. Then it's time to check out. As we sit waiting, the elevator door opens. An elderly lady emerges. She shuffle through the lobby, moaning as she takes each step. She enters through a door across from the lobby desk. After a minute she returns, shuffles back to the elevator & is gone. They must have some long term residents here.

We notice several people come into the lobby, talk w/ the receptionist & then place blue covers over their shoes. A nurse walks through the lobby carrying a large jar. It's hard not to notice a number of leeches in the jar. I feel like we have just stepped back in time. Do people still use those things? Apparently, they must have some type of medical office here, too. By far, this has been the most interesting hotel we have ever stayed in.

The orphanage visit

The dirt road is lined with beautiful tall trees on each side. A fence wraps around the orphanage building. Around the side of the main building is a sidewalk leading to a garden where the flowers are in bloom. There are walking paths around & playground equipment toward the back.

We enter the main building & are directed to the Orphanage Director's office. She looks like what I imagined a typical middle aged Russian woman would look like. She glances at us & doesn't break a smile. The statement we heard previously "they're excited you're coming" obviously didn't include her. I find out quickly that she is very skeptical of us & not a fan of foreign adoptions. She has heard some horror stories of Americans abusing/killing children adopted from Russia. (To date, there are 19 cases reported.) The day we arrive in Russia we were warned that another story ran on the news about an American doctor using his adopted Russian girls in experiments. Bad timing indeed. This Orphanage Director feels she is the safety net for all of her kids who are adopted. Once they leave her care, she can no longer make sure they are safe. This is the time she makes sure they will be. She takes her job very seriously. She wants to know why we want these two kids if we already have three kids. She wants to know why we are adopting. She wants to know if we are unable to have more biological children. There are many words exchanged between our translator & the director. Obviously, they are talking about us, but no one translates. She doesn't seem convinced, yet allows us to go see the children.

We follow the group of ladies into another building. There is our translator, the Orphanage Director, a government worker who will supervise our visit & us. We walk into another building where there are about 5 boys, who look 7-13 years old, hanging out on a sofa watching tv. All of them stop momentarily to say hello to us. We pass a few small rooms on the right which look like large closets. There are painted pipes in rows & shoes all lined up neatly across from them on shoe racks. The pipes must be for drying winter/wet clothes. The last room looks like a small classroom. It has a double row of small desks with chairs facing a larger desk & chair at the front of the room. At the end of the hall, we make our way up the stairs to turn left & enter an open room. This is the room from their video! It has a conference table & 6 chairs to our left, followed by a room divider & a play area with couches behind. On the right, there's a large stuffed bunny on a sofa that is surrounded by many small potted plants.  Lera & Oleg are there with the Orphanage Psychologist playing on the floor with toy animals. They are dressed up for their time with visitors. She is wearing a short sleeved cotton dress & big white ribbons on her ponytails. She has on striped socks & black sandals w/ a fancy diamond gem. He is wearing a short sleeved camo shirt with a collar & matching shorts.  He has on socks & soft shoes. Their hair looks like it has just been trimmed.

In case you don't know, I cry easily. I cry watching movies, commercials, listening to songs & just thinking about happy or sad things. One aspect that makes me cry often is my kids. I have tried to prepare myself to not cry when we meet them so they won't be confused or upset. But, they are beautiful! One look at their smiling faces & I am no good. I try to say hi in Russian but dare not try another word as I can feel myself getting choked up. Of all the times I have tried to play this moment out in my mind, I stand there paralyzed. Luckily, it seems that our translator has done this before & she suggests that we sit on the couch & watch them play. I am still trying my best to hold it together as I wipe small tears from my eyes. I try hard to keep smiling as Lera continues to look up at me.

She shows us animals. Oleg names them. She organizes them in groups. I can tell they are a little nervous & trying to show us how smart they are. They both use color pencils to color in pictures. On the opposite page, there is an example of the picture already done. I sit down on the floor w/ Oleg. I watch him color. He tries so hard to stay in the lines. Slowly I inch closer to him & ask him if I can help. He nods when I pick out a colored pencil & point to the area where I'm going to color. Corbin sits w/ Lera to watch her. She is very serious about her drawing. She wants it to be perfect.

Our translator suggests we give them the gifts we brought. Since our luggage was late, all the items I had carefully chosen to pack are not w/ us. We were able to make a quick stop at a local market. We picked out a small red truck for Oleg. For Lera, we chose a Barbie doll that says Happy Wedding in English on the package. It has a fancy dress, makeup compact &a plastic pink crown on a clip. Oleg tries to open the truck packaging but needs help. He hands the box to Corbin. There is a screw in the back & of course, no one has a screwdriver. Eventually Corbin frees the truck. Oleg is excited that the top of the cab comes off & it has a spare tire he sets into the bed.

Lera opens her box, but has trouble undoing where the doll's hair is sewn to the cardboard. She asks the psychologist for help & she suggests that she ask me to help her. I manage to untangle the hair. Lera picks up the tiny brush & straightens her hair. Next, she gets her doll ready by separating her hair into two parts. Then she braids one side & asks the Psychologist to braid the other. Halfway she braids them together. Lera sets her new doll in the baby doll stroller w/ her accessories. She strolls her over to the short table & makes a tea party for her doll. I ask to join in & we play for awhile. 

When she's done, she moves over to a large bookcase & picks out a book. She reads us the small Russian book. Oleg comes over to listen to her. He tries so hard to be quiet while his sister reads but, those wheels make that cool noise when they are pulled back. It is too tempting for a little boy! After the book, we pull out some puzzles. Lera has hexagon colored plastic pieces that fit together. She makes flowers & butterflies just like the girl on the box. Oleg puts together his own puzzles. They are so very busy & hardly speak.

Too soon we are told it's time to go. Although I really don't want to, I am relieved to be able to relax soon & not feel like I am on display. Maybe Lera feels the same way, too. After we step out of the building, I can feel my eyes begin to well up, but I can't stop the tears from falling. Our translator steps back confused. "Suzanne, why are you crying?" Does she not understand? I've waited so long for this day. "I don't want to leave them," I reply. I'm not sure she understands. I don't know what else I can say. Maybe she's not a mom.